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Essay on discussing the subjects with which you had difficulty (meetings)



Kenny Z 7 / 2  
Jan 9, 2010   #1
Unlike my fellow classmates, growing up in a rural American town was a challenge for me. My family and I migrated to the United States when I was very young. It was a challenge for me everyday because I had to adapt to a new culture and learn a new language.

As a foreigner, I found it very difficult in meeting new people since I can't speak English language. The level of anxiety and stress associated with moving to a new country can be overwhelming and frightening, especially for someone of a young age. I can still remember, as if it were yesterday, when I first moved to America and attended school here. I was in kindergarten. During my first day of school, as I was walking into my class, the only thing I can remember was seeing how different my fellow students were from me. Even though everyone was very nice, I still felt there was a huge gap between us, largely due to my race.

My sense of anxiety and discomfort finally disappeared after my classmates started talking to me. Although it took me a while just to get used to my surroundings and understand what other students were saying to me, I adopted quickly and next thing I knew, I was communicating and playing with them.

As I grew older, my communication skill continued to grow as the years progressed. By the time I reached the sixth grade, I made more friends and was fluent in English. Thankfully I was able to keep my Chinese language also, largely because I had to speak it at home with my parents. Both of my parents knew very little English. My older brother was the only other person I would speak English to at home. Even with him, we would speak both languages at times.

Realizing my own weaknesses, I used that recognition as a motivation to improve myself everyday in every way. As of today, I continue to learn ways to further my English language skills.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 10, 2010   #2
Unlike my fellow classmates, growing up in a rural American town was a challenge for me. -----I don't think it is so good to presume that it was not a challenge for the others. How about this:

In a way that makes me different from most of my fellow classmates, growing up in a rural American town was a challenge for me.

It was a challenge for me every day, because I had to adapt to a new culture and learn a new language. ------ now add one more sentence to express a fascinating bit of reflection about how this kind of adversity causes you to be different.

Keep the verb tense the same as you write:
As a foreigner, I found it very difficult in meeting new people since I could not speak English language.

The conclusion, like the intro, is shorter than I think it should be. You should use those paragraphs as the most important parts of the essay -- the places where you give a few brilliant sentences that express the MAIN IDEA of the essay.

:-)


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