"I display these values every day" (vires, arte, mores) - FSU Essay

Prompt:
The Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University.

As i read the prompt i felt an instant connection with the meaning of the word vires and knew that that was the word that best described me out of the three. But as i began to write i found myself asking "what exactly is strength?", If you asked most people they would simply reply with something along the lines of who could lift the heaviest load or who could run the fastest, but i disagree with them. I found that true strength lies in these words "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.", to some this may mean nothing but in my eyes these simple words embody will, drive and determination.

I believe that we are the ones that hold our own fates and our future cannot be limited by anything but ourselves and in this sense I have derived my strength from my mother. For as long as i can remember she taught me to never give up no matter what anyone says and to live by my own standards. She encouraged me to set my own morals rather than to follow other's, these are the morals that give me the initiative me to do things such as actively participate in my community by volunteering. This also has given me a great appetite for knowledge compelling me to challenge my mind, for example: choosing to enroll in a more rigorous course despite having knowledge that i may receive a lower grade.

I display these values every day because it is in my nature. These are the principles that have shaped me into who i am today and they are the driving force behind me that push me to succeed.

Capitalize the word "I."

I found that true strength lies in these words, "Des tiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." To some this may mean nothing but in my eyes these simple words embody will, drive and determination.

This is a wasted sentence: I display these values every day because it is in my nature. Do not make claims like this. Instead, stick with the important parts: I believe that we are the ones that hold our own fates and our future cannot be limited by anything but ourselves, and in this sense I have derived my strength from my mother. ---- very interesting and important. Tell a little more about what she taught you about vires.

Let's lengthen that conclusion paragraph, too, so that it can reflect on the main message of the essay.