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"The DNA Science and Human Genomic Camps" - common app short answer

bahynahj 1 / 3  
Dec 30, 2010   #1
Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (150 words or fewer, 1000 character maximum).

The DNA Science and Human Genomic Camps were not only educational but also exciting experiences. Each curriculum introduced me to advanced tools of biotechnology that I was able to use firsthand. Both camps were centered on laboratory work and each experiment preformed helped to build the skills necessary for the next. At the DNA Science Workshop, I preformed the basic techniques of DNA restriction, transformation, and isolation. I also examined bacterial growth curves using the E. coli generic system and performed a restriction analysis and a gel electrophoresis. At the Human Genomics Workshop I was given the chance to use Noble Peace prize winning technology to analyze the human genome. I preformed many experiments that identified several types of polymorphism in my own DNA. The other students and I had firsthand experience implementing techniques used in criminal investigations and population studies. This experience was fundamental in solidifying my interest in health sciences.
myang 4 / 10  
Dec 30, 2010   #2
At the DNA Science Workshop, I performed the basic...

I performed many experiments that...

I feel like there is no voice to your essay although you have great specifics that show you know what you're talking about. In addition, I feel like you only spent one sentence on the importance/relevance of this experience which I feel is too little.

Feel free to ignore my advice cause I'm not a great writer either xD
OP bahynahj 1 / 3  
Dec 30, 2010   #3
thank you i used my "Voice" in the essay since i thought i only had to write about the acivity itself.
Fpoz 2 / 6  
Dec 30, 2010   #4
it's really good, specially when you talk about the DNA test on yourself.

Instead of saying "Nobel Prize winning technology" I'd use the name of the method/machine.

I like it though
HeXiaofang 1 / 3  
Dec 31, 2010   #5
Nice written. and a small suggestion: if you write what you have gained from the activity, the difficulties you met with, or things like that, it will be better and more impressive. not just to say what you have done because I feel its a bit monotonous...

Hope it will help you and good Luck!

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