Unanswered [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 8


'this doctor confirmed my expectations of a medical career' - Common Application



dyj921 2 / 8  
Oct 2, 2011   #1
Hi guys, I have decided to change my essay entirely. So this is essay 2.0. Do criticize and give your most honest feedback ok?

Deciding on what to do with my life is unbelievably difficult. Often I feel like a contestant on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" who is about to answer the much fabled million dollar question. The stakes are high, making the wrong choice could leave me regretting fro life. Fortunately, unlike the poor contestants on that show, I had the entire of my 20 years to make the right choice.

In the year leading up to my A level examination, I was overwrought by my inability to decide on a career and the major that would lead me to it. I naively believed that the course I choose to study would go on to define my life. This anxiety and frustration led me to settle temporarily on the career of a medical practitioner.


To be honest, this decision was based less on passion but rather a need for security and conformity. Becoming a doctor meant a prestigious, lucrative and perhaps meaningful career, a logical choice for a pragmatic Singaporean. Yet, I was not entirely comfortable with the lack of passion in making this "million dollar decision". Much like troubled contestants, I decided seek advice by "phoning a friend", whom in this case, happened to be a friend's doctor.

My conversation with this doctor confirmed my expectations of a medical career. He spoke of the generous monetary rewards, the respect that one commands as a doctor and the amazing job security that any doctor would enjoy. Essentially, I am set for life the moment I graduate from medical school.

Yet. the idea that my future is fixed and secure somehow terrified me. The journey that is life is about experiencing and exploring possibilities, both good and bad. I do not want my journey to end the moment I don the famed white robes. Becoming a doctor may mean that I might ever venture into another profession or lifestyle. Perhaps life's worst misery is to wake up knowing that the next forty years would be no different from the present.

Ironically, my peek into the ideal life taught me that it is the unknown possibilities that I must embrace.

I do not regret giving up medicine. Although it seems I have thrown away my best bet in this million dollar question, I felt great relief and freedom the moment I made up my mind, as if a brave new world opened up to me. The elimination of this choice has shaped me and given me a greater clarity in understanding myself. My tussles with my ambitions and aspirations have taught me that what I choose to study in university means very little in the grand scheme of things because I may very well change my mind again. Youth holds too much promise to be held back by the chains of a single decision. The real million dollar choice is to learn as much as possible, in an environment that will stimulate me to get in touch with all aspects of human knowledge.

I wish to be educated for life, not for a single job. Such an education would leave me with not one choice, but rather an infinite number of paths that could potentially lead me to a happy, satisfied life in the decades to come. That, is my final answer.

OP dyj921 2 / 8  
Oct 3, 2011   #2
help! anybody?
Leah_Writer - / 46  
Oct 5, 2011   #3
Wow! I think this is an awesome framework for your essay, and I love the "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" metaphor you use throughout. I also want to point out that many schools are really excited to have undeclared majors who really want to learn a lot of different things and have a well-rounded education, so I think a couple more sentences about how you look forward to expanding your horizons and exploring new fields, and are intellectually curious, would make this even better. One thing I would watch out for is short paragraphs. The third and fourth can definitely be put together into one. One little grammatical thing to think about is tenses--for example, you write "the idea that my future IS fixed and secured somehow TERRIFIED me," which mixes present and past tense. I think it will make the overall structure of your essay stronger if you're really clear about when you're talking about now and when you're talking about your thought process or decisions in the past (like when you decided to give up on medicine.) Overall, though, I think this is really strong and I think the last sentence in particular is great.

Good luck in your admissions process!
duke9418 2 / 6  
Oct 5, 2011   #4
This is really an excellent start to your paper. The only thing I think you should really truly focus on is adding a little bit more about your decision for going undecided. Other than that, it was great!
OP dyj921 2 / 8  
Oct 9, 2011   #5
Thanks for your advice guys!
gymnast842 3 / 6  
Oct 9, 2011   #6
The only thing I would change is the "my tussles with my ambitions" to "THE tussles with my ambitions" because it is obvious that they were yours. It is a great essay though!
OP dyj921 2 / 8  
Oct 16, 2011   #7
I have revised it a little bit. Is is better now?

Deciding on what to do with my life is unbelievably difficult. Often I feel like a contestant on "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" who is about to answer the much fabled million dollar question. The stakes are high, making the wrong choice could leave me regretting for life. Fortunately, unlike the poor contestants on that show, I had all the time in my life to make that decision.In my final year of school, I was almost certain that I want to be a doctor. Becoming a doctor meant a prestigious, lucrative and perhaps meaningful career, a sensible choice for a pragmatic Singaporean. Yet something kept me from being absolutely certain. Much like troubled contestants, I decided seek advice by "phoning a friend", whom in this case, happened to be a friend's doctor.

My correspondence with this doctor confirmed my belief that becoming a doctor was the single most straightforward path to success. Essentially, I am set for life once I graduate from medical school. Yet, this was exactly what made me hesitate. The idea that my life is set in stone terrified me. The adventure that is life is about experiencing and exploring possibilities, both good and bad. I do not want my adventure to end the moment I don my white robes. Perhaps life's worst misery is to wake up knowing that the next forty years would be no different from the present.

Ironically, my peek into the ideal life taught me that it is the unknown possibilities that I should embrace.

I do not regret giving up medicine. Although it seems I have thrown away my best bet in this million dollar question, I felt great relief and freedom the moment I made up my mind, as if a brave new world opened up to me. The elimination of this choice has shaped me and given me a greater clarity in understanding myself. The tussle with my ambitions and aspirations have taught me that what I choose to study in university means very little in the grand scheme of things because I may very well change my mind again.

By letting go of a career, I have gained freedom; the freedom to learn and experience.

I have but one life to live. It holds too much promise to be held back by the chains of a single decision. The uncertainty that shrouds my future now is only matched by the certainty that I will discover my calling someday. Until then, the real million dollar choice is to learn as much as possible, in an environment that will stimulate me to get in touch with all aspects of human knowledge.

I wish to be educated for life, not for a single job. Such an education would leave me with not one choice, but rather an infinite number of paths that could potentially lead me to a happy, satisfied life in the decades to come. That, is my final answer.
Prettywings 1 / 74  
Oct 16, 2011   #8
that I wanted be a doctor.

Great essay, love the metaphor. Good luck this!


Home / Undergraduate / 'this doctor confirmed my expectations of a medical career' - Common Application
ⓘ Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms for professional help:

Best Writing Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳