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"I am a dreamer." - BU 3 words to describe myself supplement essay



Rachach6 4 / 6  
Apr 1, 2010   #1
Unlike most people, I believe that I have always known exactly who I am and what I want out of my life. Finding words to describe myself is easy. Trying to explain how they describe me is difficult. Being a dancer from a very young age helped me to understand exactly who I am and how to get what I wanted out of my life. I am a autonomous dreamer with a fiery passion for life.

I am a dreamer. I always have new goals for myself and I rarely think that something is impossible. Believing in myself is a characteristic I have always had. From the first dance class I ever attended to trying out for the track team when I had never willingly run in my life. The dreams I have for myself and my drive to reach them will help me to achieve greatness at Boston University.

I am autonomous. I always have been and always will be. When I was little I always begged my parents to let me stay home alone and loved when they let me make my own dinner. Nine days after graduating high school I left my home in Kansas City to spend the summer in East Hampton, New York. I only knew a handful of people and 1,332 miles from my parents. I consider this experience the experience that sent me into the real world and adulthood. My independence and ability to handle being away from home for long periods of time helped me to help my other friends during my first year of college with their adjustment from being away from home. I would love to help more college students with their adjustment to college, especially at Boston University.

I am fiery. I have a fierce, burning, passion for life and everything around me. I think that passion is the key to success in life. Whenever I start a new project or have a new goal in mind I always become overwhelmed with a fiery passion for whatever it is I am doing. Being passionate about a hobby or goal always helps me to reach my goal faster because of the enthusiasm I have. My fiery personality is my favorite thing about myself. I think that it is the core of everything about me from the way I act, how people perceive me, and my ability to reach for the stars and keep my hopes up the entire journey to them.

I believe these three words describe my personality perfectly. Without my dreams I never would have thought to travel east for school, without my autonomous attitude I could never have the courage to go for what I wanted without the help of others, and finally without my fiery passion for life I would not be where I am today. I believe that all of these characteristics will bring positive energy to the Boston University campus and help me in succeeding at such an incredible institute.

Liebe 1 / 524  
Apr 2, 2010   #2
Unlike most people, I believe that I have always known exactly who I am and what I want out of my life.

^What makes you so sure that 'most' people do not know who they are. And you are only believing. Beliefs can be false.

^It is nice to see you compliment yourself so strongly, however for the most part, you use subjective claims and you do not provide any thing that can actually support your claim and make others, such as myself, actually believe you. For example, can you give me an instance of how you ALWAYS have new goals for yourself and rarely think something is impossible. Also, having hopes is wonderful but priding yourself on being unrealistic is not a strong selling point.

Furthermore, I fail to see how just staying at home by yourself supports your claim of being autonomous and you always shall be.
Your examples are very weak and fail to support your bold claims on your personal strengths. This applies for your whole essay.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 2, 2010   #3
Unlike most people, I believe I have always known exactly who I am and what I want out of my life. --- I crossed out "most people" because it is presumptuous to assume you know how things are for most people. I crossed out "I believe" because it makes you seem like you lack confidence in what you are saying.

It is nice to see you compliment yourself so strongly

Ha ha, Faisal, you are funny. Well, this kind of essay has to involve some self-complimenting. Hahaha. :-)

fiery passion for life--- excellent phrase!!

Faisal made great corrections here.. Um, I sugest adding a little about your envisioned career or some other things from your future. For each word, (these words you chose are great, by the way.. especially "fiery") add a sentence about how that word/quality can enhance your process in your chosen field or in the area that interests you. Tell about your future.

:-)


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