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Drexel essay for Architecture; it cannot be simply defined as a building



Fluffycatv 1 / 1  
Nov 18, 2012   #1
Here is the prompt: Westphal College of Media Arts & Design applicants: Relate your essay topic to your interest in your intended major. (250-500 words)

If anyone could point out any mistakes and offer some suggestions that would be great! This is my 1st choice school so it is important I write a good essay!

My Essay:

To me, Architecture cannot be simply defined as a building; Architecture is a space defined by functional imaginations which serve as a work representative of culture and design. My pursuits in design started when I was young, rearranging my room to numerous layouts as my needs for space changed, always trying to maintain the same warm environment that I loved. However it was when I started high school that my aspirations for becoming an Architect were realized. Traditional art, Science, and History courses have brightened my desire to contribute in the field and increased my interest in a career in Architecture. Through my elective art classes I have learned about composition, form, color, and perspective, studies which have improved my technical ability while also allowing me to express my ideas creatively through painting, drawing, and sculpting. In my History classes I have learned about different architecture styles and movements that influence society, and in my Environmental Science class I have become more aware of the environmental concerns building places on our society, and the possibilities of sustainable design.

My experiences outside of the high school classroom have also inspired my interest in Architecture by working in my community on art based projects. In my school's National Art Honors Society I have been a part of setting up school-wide art shows, organizing fundraising, volunteering my artistic skills to local businesses and neighbors, and a team member in creating collaborative artwork for our school. My love for travel and exploration has also made me think more critically about Architecture. Family vacations to the Biltmore Estate, Puerto Rico, and visits to buildings in Old Louisville, have allowed me to experience different styles of architecture and opened my eyes to the possibilities of functional design.

As a career, I see creating architecture as the possibility of leaving a positive imprint on the world through community art. By attending Drexel, I hope to gain the skills necessary to apply my creative ideas to create architectural pieces. Drexel's Antoinette Westphal college is extremely reputable; I am sure that the education I will receive at Westphal will be unmatched, and also has a community I would love to be a part of. With the combination of Drexel's design studio classes and work-study, I know that I can realistically create beautiful art and bring my ideas to life.

t0r0sebud1 2 / 5  
Nov 18, 2012   #2
Fluffycatv
Given the program you are applying for, you do a nice job of describing your skills and talents. The second paragraph is really good and I now how an idea of who you are but I think they need to see more passion, like how did the architecture you saw on vacation move you. Otherwise, you might come off as a an American tourist. The first paragraph needs improvement--maybe start with a better hook that shows off your creativity rather than your definition of architecture and less emphasis on your coursework. The subjects, art, history, and science should all be in caps.
OP Fluffycatv 1 / 1  
Nov 19, 2012   #3
Ok, thank you! Anyone else have an opinion?


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