Essay about me
I will try if I can't write something about myself. My life has been rather a strange one. It may not seem particularly useful, but it has been in some respects, adventurous. I am an example of African traditional polygamy child. I have no vanity in myself, am affected by the malady of this set up. I seem to have come in to this world with grate disadvantage of a polygamy bring up. I put my father last because he was not so well supportive to my mother, he considers his second wife first. Both my parent are illiterate they barely attended grade three classes, they are peasant farmers.
I vividly recall an evening when I got home from school and father had lashed mother. She couldn't walk or stand straight. Rage filled my heart given I had power father would have atoned for this act. He reprimanded and lashed me on several occasions especially if I procrastinated or was reported by step mum and siblings on unfounded truth. My forth follower lost his mental abilities due to severe beating from step mum. Despite several attempts of hospitalization, he never recovered fully. It affected his purpose for life and compromised his future. We grew up lacking paternal support and love however, I appreciate father for walking me through the door of education. The fact that he sent me to school was the ever grate love he showed in a disguised form. However, school became the source of my beating, he gave me several exercise beyond my comprehension which attracted strokes on each failed number.
I made it through for secondary school but couldn't make it since we live in destitution with little or no finance power. We resorted to bricks making since farming was not reliable due to changes in weather. This was jointly executed however, our step proved stubborn whenever father was absent. Many times father assigned us task at brick site, our step siblings came late, work less and unfinished work invited scolding at the expense of our step. I developed a strategy that worked though weary, I and my siblings completed most task at the site whether or not our steps were involved. This trained us to work hard and persevere to accomplish assignments. It proved beneficial later when the family then split in to two each on its own. It was to our advantage that we made numerous bricks and were able to meet our expenses and my tuition. I had gaps in education since bricks could not be bought on time and rain destroyed some due to poor storage facility. The hard work tamed and trained me to be focus and be courageous in life, It felt like this world is a bleak.
I boycotted second term classes of the final year of national exams at high school due to tuition problem, followed by subsequent affliction of considerable agony "charm" inflicted on mum. I rode mother on a bicycle several times from home to church, to pastor's homes seeking prayer help. I spent sleepless nights attending to mum, being the eldest I did all domestic work from cooking, washing clothes, collecting water, and bathing children. I cried because mums condition frighten me, I thought I was going to lose her and face my step mum. Father did not give a helping hand since he cared little about us. With the help of the church leaders I mobilized three different prayer fast at home that helped mum recover steadily while keeping busy at bricks site for subsequent terms' fees, this affected my high school results. Serving as the general secretary of Red Cross Club at high school gave me a chance to make a difference where I mobilized fundraising from students that clothed four vulnerable children who collected food remains from the school half naked, further more I mobilized community service each term twice to clean the water source and market place at school.
I could not make it to University despite being admitted the whole year of 2010 due to finance drawbacks. I had to volunteer with Red Cross Society Organization that year from Jan to May distributing temporary consumption support and clothes to orphans and vulnerable households in Entebbe a district four hundred kilometer away from my home town. This became the motivating factor to seek further studies that would help me establish a charity institution that supports the orphans and vulnerable. Being a volunteer, there wasn't any pay and I needed to save for school fees. I quit volunteering and joined an Indian construction company working as a potter earning $12 a week, working from Monday through Saturday. It was exploitative working with Indians however, I saved $180 in five month. With this, I became an employer back home at the bricks site in winter and made $1200 which supported my associate degree studies without a gap.
During the associate degree, I contributed to the wining of intercultural soccer award by Lango students association. A loose coalition of student from Lango sub region in Northern Uganda meant for mobilization and charity support during the course of study. Doing Internship with Facilitation for Peace and Development a civil society organization during the study, equipped me with firsthand experience and exposer in the finance career. The organization appreciated my commitment and strong work desire with a reward of $100 however, we were two students I was rewarded because am a fast learner, motivated and focus in my work , I learnt an accounting package Quick-books faster and helped fed data that beat the audit deadline. I got employed by this organization after completing the Diploma course as accounts assistant and serve for three years. I helped finance manager in developing and adjust budget, financial reporting, budget monitoring, petty cash control and field visits to validate payments to beneficiaries and vendors. I applied for the finance assistant position with World Education Inc. implementing a USAID funded project of Better Outcomes for Children and Youth in Northern and Eastern Uganda. The position needed a degree applicant however, with my Diploma I emerged the best during the interview and currently employed in the same position.
This was down to my strong work ethic and the drive to succeed, I learnt to develop strong work ethic, ability to prioritize, attention to details and manage time because in life we should approach everything with the drive to exceed, work hard, persevere and do the right things.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Boniface, please tell me that you are not going to submit this essay to a foreign university in the hopes of studying overseas. The essay itself does not meet international standards. It lacks coherence due to the confusing telling of your personal story, contains numerous spelling errors caused by the usage of wrong word terms in the paragraphs (grate instead of great for example), and basically, leaves the reader to correct more than an acceptable amount of grammatical mistakes on your part to make the sentences and paragraphs understandable. This needs a tremendous amount of work in order to properly revise it. I strongly recommend that you use our "Urgent" or "Services" in order for me to better assist you in the revising of this essay. I am not sure about how to advise you regarding how to start your corrections to this essay because you did not really provide the original instructions from the university regarding how this essay is to be written. Without the prompt, I won't even know where to begin the final analysis of your written work. All I can tell you is that this essay is very touching, but may not be able to deliver the kind of impact that you expect it to.
For one, it focuses too much on the drama of your family life, specifically your father and your mother. In these sorts of essay, it is best to not divide the attention of the reviewer between so many settings. Since we are only discussing your life and educational background, don't focus so much on how your father treated your mother, nor the role of your step family so much. There are too many sub stories going on in this essay. You need to focus on one important aspect of your family life and then, your educational life. Don't make this an autobiography. Keep it short. The reviewer doesn't have the time to wade through all this information. He just needs the pertinent facts delivered upfront, sans too much dramatic effect in your writing.
Hi Boniface!
I'm not sure what this essay is for, but I will give my opinion on the over feel of the essay. It is awesome that you have been able to make something out of your life despite the hardships, but your essay has a very negative feel to it. I understand that this might be how you were feeling when writing this essay, but If this essay is for a school application, then you might want to consider adding some positive things your life has taught you. Consider removing the second paragraph. I don't think it helps the point of the essay, also consider checking your grammar. There were places your grammar made things hard to understand.
Hope this helps!
