Educational Goals and Interests; Biochemistry/Forensic Science; Waterloo Essay

Please check the relevance of the content and the grammar of this essay and let me know how good it is. Any suggestion to what can be further added or removed is most welcome. Thank you very much for your help and time.

Question: Reasons for choosing your program and Waterloo .
Please tell us about your educational goals, your interest in your chosen program(s), and your reasons for applying to the University of Waterloo. If you have applied to more than one program, please discuss your interest in each program. (900 character limit)

Studying basics of Biochemistry in A-Level Chemistry has charted my career path as a DNA Analyst in Forensic Science, which is why I chose it as my major. I recall marveling at the ingenious complexity of DNA that, as the backbone of life, had its own backbone of molecules and chemical bonds. Biochemical applications in genetic fingerprinting such as gel electrophoresis fascinated me as they helped in giving justice by detecting criminals among suspects.

I chose Waterloo mainly for its Co-op program. The financial independence and work experience gained is a unique chance for me to stand on my own feet, given my low financial status, and hone my lab skills. With its solid base in Chemistry and innovative scientific growth, Waterloo caters for my interests, while I further wish to pursue my Master's Degree after graduation and keep investing myself in its faculty research.

Content-wise, I believe that your introduction is much too long. You've spent nearly half your word/character limit talking about your interest in your major, which is fine, but the university is looking more for a "Why Waterloo" type of response. In that respect, your response of "Co-op" program and "solid base in Chemistry" is not particularly that unique to a certain college.

You should consider shortening your introduction, as you do not have to go that in depth as to why you're really interested in your major of choice. Consider researching more about Waterloo and name specific reasons as to why you wish to attend Waterloo. You may mention specific courses or teachers that are only offered at Waterloo, or perhaps elaborate more on the co-op opportunities. Upon quick research, you might mention that Waterloo offers a chance to be a research intern at Harvard Medical which is definitely a unique and outstanding position to have (uwaterloo.ca/find-out-more/programs/biochemistry).

Of course, I'd like to preface this by saying that I am not that knowledgeable about college admissions in Canada, and I am only assuming that they would be similar to admissions in the States. Hope this helps!