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Our effort makes our future. Why would you be a great participant in the Global UGRAD Program?

aidamt 1 / -  
Dec 21, 2016   #1

Our effort makes our future

Since I was child my father taught me that to survive in our world you should outpace other people for few steps and always be ready to compete with the best ones. Till now his lessons are priceless for me. He never tried to embellish the truth and was extremely honest with me and my brothers. In order to impress my father I always tried to challenge myself even it was very hard to me and that made me persistent in front of obstacles. I was fourtunate to study among the best students at the strongest school in our counrty. In this school of life I understand that it better to be the worst among the bests that to be the best among the worsts. People around me always tried to improve all of their potential and I did the same, because I knew that all of our efforts will give us result in the future.

Holt [Contributor] - / 8,561 2482  
Dec 21, 2016   #2
Aida, there is nothing in your response that proves your excellence or ability to succeed as a UGrad program participant. I am not sure where you got the idea that discussing the lessons that you learned from your father is what you should be discussing in this essay as proof of your ability to become an effective UGrad participant. I am going to advise you to change the content of your response.

Try to make it at least 2 paragraphs long, using a discussion that highlights your character traits or accomplishments in the academic department that will showcase how you can be an asset to the program. That means, you need to be able to show the reviewer an aspect of your personality that will help the program become better and enhanced once you participate in it. Think about what makes you an interesting person and how others benefit from this interesting trait of yours. Maybe you have a civic interest or advocacy that can help you grow as a person by pursuing the program overseas. Whatever the reason, the main focus of your response has to be on the improvement of the study experience for everyone who will be joining you during the upcoming semester.

If you cannot show how you can help to enhance the learning experience, either by sharing your heritage or promoting an advocacy, for example, I don't see how you can prove that you would be a great participant in the program. Currently, your essay is way too short to be considered an effective statement.

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