The thing I'm concerned with the most is the tone of the essay. Does it come across as too casual or not wordy enough? Also, does it have enough of the topics? Is it too "personal"?
Why Tulane:
In the seventh grade, I became captivated with a book series about upper class Manhattan middle schoolers with closets full of Gucci and personal stylist on speed dial. I was utterly fascinated by such grandeur. To me, it was the most unbelievable fiction. Surely, no one could seriously afford to pay $100 for jeans or own a summer home. To my 12 year old mind, having that much money was basically a fantasy, not even a possibility. That was my first real glimpse into how other people lived. That was when I realized that not everyone's life was like mine. I wasn't really a part of this "well-off" middle class, as I had once thought. In reality, I was the youngest child of a working single mother who tried her hardest to make ends meet, not always succeeding. Suddenly, my horizons broadened considerably.
Now, at 17, I still want to broaden my horizons. I believe that going to Tulane University would offer me that opportunity. I appreciate the fact that Tulane is so involved in trying to positively impact the surrounding area. Being fascinated by other cultures and extremely eager to study abroad, I'm glad that studying abroad is so prevalent at Tulane. Of course, academics are what attracted me to Tulane in the first place. I'm especially attracted to how common double majoring is. The ability to not have to choose between my fields of interests, Psychology and Sociology, is very attractive to me. I plan to go on to complete my masters and, eventually, my PhD in both. A Tulane education is the foundation I need to do that.
I want to learn more about the world, to embrace the good things and help to change the bad. I want to experience things that I wouldn't have otherwise been exposed to. I want a college experience that alters the way I think and opens my mind. I want the erudition that I can use to actually reach that middle class that might otherwise be far off. I don't need upper class Gucci or a black American Express. I just need the education that allows me to reach my full potential and attain the success I hope for. I'm positive that Tulane is that education.
Why Tulane:
In the seventh grade, I became captivated with a book series about upper class Manhattan middle schoolers with closets full of Gucci and personal stylist on speed dial. I was utterly fascinated by such grandeur. To me, it was the most unbelievable fiction. Surely, no one could seriously afford to pay $100 for jeans or own a summer home. To my 12 year old mind, having that much money was basically a fantasy, not even a possibility. That was my first real glimpse into how other people lived. That was when I realized that not everyone's life was like mine. I wasn't really a part of this "well-off" middle class, as I had once thought. In reality, I was the youngest child of a working single mother who tried her hardest to make ends meet, not always succeeding. Suddenly, my horizons broadened considerably.
Now, at 17, I still want to broaden my horizons. I believe that going to Tulane University would offer me that opportunity. I appreciate the fact that Tulane is so involved in trying to positively impact the surrounding area. Being fascinated by other cultures and extremely eager to study abroad, I'm glad that studying abroad is so prevalent at Tulane. Of course, academics are what attracted me to Tulane in the first place. I'm especially attracted to how common double majoring is. The ability to not have to choose between my fields of interests, Psychology and Sociology, is very attractive to me. I plan to go on to complete my masters and, eventually, my PhD in both. A Tulane education is the foundation I need to do that.
I want to learn more about the world, to embrace the good things and help to change the bad. I want to experience things that I wouldn't have otherwise been exposed to. I want a college experience that alters the way I think and opens my mind. I want the erudition that I can use to actually reach that middle class that might otherwise be far off. I don't need upper class Gucci or a black American Express. I just need the education that allows me to reach my full potential and attain the success I hope for. I'm positive that Tulane is that education.