"The Embracing Student Body"-Why Yale? Supplement

Here's my Why Yale? Supplement. The limit is 500 characters and I'm right on it at the moment. I know that it's hard to do much with such a short count but I tried my best. Any thoughts would be appreciated. My main worry at the moment is the word "embracing." I feel like it really fails to encompass the student body but I can't really add much. Any ideas?

Maybe it's how I giggled reading about the Naked Run and smiled watching the "Why I Chose Yale" video. Maybe it's how my tour guide waited for me despite my late arrival. It might be all the smiling students I saw flooding the lawn of Old Campus when I walked through. The thing I am sure though is that I want Yale because of its embracing student body. While the teaching I receive at Yale will certainly be outstanding, I know that the students I meet will elevate my experience to another level.

I had a TON of trouble with the character limit for Yale, but you've worked with it well. The only advice I have is this: I too wanted to start with a reference to the "Why I Chose Yale" video, but my teacher honestly asked me...do you really want to go to a university because of a video?

Say what you mean...it sounds like you want to go to Yale because you'll learn with the brightest, most interesting people. So focus on that, and don't waste characters on the cute stories that, while they may enhance the experience, aren't legitimate reasons to choose your future. I hope that's not harsh! But it's so few characters...the admissions officers don't need charisma for this answer, they just want your words and the truth :)

Yeah, I'm not too sure about "embracing". I certainly get what you are trying to say, and because of the word limit it is hard to fit everything in.

I also feel that the last sentence leaves me hanging. Maybe you could work in the embracing student body and that sentence to save some words? And definitely don't downplay the excellent academics. You do a good job of showing how the student body doesn't just study, but I feel that the one sentence where you talk about the teaching makes it seem like you are only going to Yale for fun and not for academics, which I'm sure is not the case.

Maybe it's how I giggled reading about the Naked Run or how my tour guide waited for me despite my late arrival. It might be all the smiling students I saw flooding the lawn of Old Campus when I walked through. The thing I do know however is that Yalies are fearless in their passions and their pursuits. It's an atmosphere that I know I will thrive in, being pushed each day to achieve the bigger and bolder. It's Yale's renowned education and student body that call to me.

Update: Any ideas? I want to be more specific but really don't see how. I might be stressing too much over this small thing.

Its pretty good, here a few suggestions...



they save you character space so maybe you can add something you want to...

good luck