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Emerson supplement short answer life title


brynnmosel 1 / -  
Nov 17, 2009   #1
My Life; "To be continued..."

Most stories and television shows end with the words to be continued, but that's how my life begins. It's amazing how life can surprise you and my life has thrown many hardships in my direction. When I was younger my little town house caught on fire and I lost all my belongings and my toys and a couple years later my father had a stroke and lost his job as a professional trumpet player on broadway. For a while I lived my life in fear thinking that anything that can go wrong will. But I luckily was able to change my attitude and become a more optimistic person. I got into a performing arts high school and made amazing friends and even though sometimes it seemed like I didn't have everything, I was happy with what I did have. Life is always moving and you just have to make the best of it, which is why I'm always exciting about my future. I want to learn who I am and I want to continue to lead a positive life.
pcvrz34g 22 / 117  
Nov 17, 2009   #2
Most stories and television shows end with the words to be continued

words 'to be continued'
cool first sentence. caught my attention.

It's amazing how life can surprise you and my life has thrown many hardships in my direction.

feel free to disagree but I don't like how you put "you" and "i" in the same sentence...

When I was younger my little town house caught on fire

when I was younger,

I lost all my belongings and my toys and a couple years later my father had a stroke and lost his job as a professional trumpet player on broadway.

belongings and my toys. Couple years later, my...

For a while I lived my life in fear

For a while,

that anything that can go wrong will.

what's wrong will?

chool and made amazing friends and even though sometimes it seemed like I didn't have everything, I was happy with what I did

cut the sentence after friends. start new sentence with "even though".

It's off to a good start.
You have many comma mistakes here. Let your English teacher read through this and fix those for you. Maybe you can re-cite 'to be continued' at the end to bring it back to what you were talking about in the beginning because I don't see a connection between the two.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Nov 19, 2009   #3
In order to support the "to be continued" theme, you should revise with a focus on resilience, perseverance. Your bad experience of losing the house and all your stuff to a fire, and then having some successes in school -- this is a good example of perseverance.

I really like your idea of describing life with this phrase, to be continued. Very cool.


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