Applying early action to UIUC and I want to know how I can improve my essay in any way. Grammar is not that important, I am more interested in content improvements. Thanks for any consideration!
[Prompt]:
Explain your interest in the major you selected and describe how you have recently explored or developed this interest, inside and/or outside the classroom. You may also explain how this major relates to your future career goals. Limit your response to 300-400 words.
When I was younger, I remember people asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Although I was not sure how to answer them, I definitely knew I did not want to be an electrical engineer like my father. I wanted to be original, I wanted to be unique, I certainly did not want to be an engineer. Despite my adamant desire to avoid emulating my father, I would inevitably hear about some of the projects he was working on, and could not help but be amazed at what he was involved in.
As I entered middle school, smartphones had just begun to enter the tech scene. Much like my peers, I really wanted my own. Countless advertisements emblazoned billboards and televisions, parading the impressive features of this miniature computer. When I finally got my own smartphone, I was mesmerized by how engineers could make such useful devices that could fit in my pocket. In spite of this, how they worked was never an elusive mystery to me. My own father made the microchips that powered these devices. That is when I began to realize why my father decided to pursue electrical engineering.
My interest in engineering intensified once I progressed to high school and took more STEM courses. Ideas like the complexity of the atom and how minuscule particles can be harnessed to create such versatile devices enthralled me. In addition, I started watching invention shows with an array of brilliant products, making me want to create my own products or apps.
Around that time, as I was skimming through the driver's license handbook, I saw how a breathalyzer would be used to determine if a driver were intoxicated. This made me wonder why breathalyzers were only being used to convict drunk drivers, instead of to prevent the issue. This encouraged me to devise methods to have breathalyzers integrated into cars, so that the engine would not start unless the driver was sober. The idea excited me, but after some research, I came to know that it was already being developed. I was disappointed, but am still working on making these existing ideas better and more accessible. I plan to submit the report to the Indian government and NGOs. Through Electrical Engineering, I can equip myself with skills to turn many other abstract ideas into practical reality, and this is what drives me to pursue it.
[Prompt]:
Explain your interest in the major you selected and describe how you have recently explored or developed this interest, inside and/or outside the classroom. You may also explain how this major relates to your future career goals. Limit your response to 300-400 words.
When I was younger, I remember people asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up. Although I was not sure how to answer them, I definitely knew I did not want to be an electrical engineer like my father. I wanted to be original, I wanted to be unique, I certainly did not want to be an engineer. Despite my adamant desire to avoid emulating my father, I would inevitably hear about some of the projects he was working on, and could not help but be amazed at what he was involved in.
As I entered middle school, smartphones had just begun to enter the tech scene. Much like my peers, I really wanted my own. Countless advertisements emblazoned billboards and televisions, parading the impressive features of this miniature computer. When I finally got my own smartphone, I was mesmerized by how engineers could make such useful devices that could fit in my pocket. In spite of this, how they worked was never an elusive mystery to me. My own father made the microchips that powered these devices. That is when I began to realize why my father decided to pursue electrical engineering.
My interest in engineering intensified once I progressed to high school and took more STEM courses. Ideas like the complexity of the atom and how minuscule particles can be harnessed to create such versatile devices enthralled me. In addition, I started watching invention shows with an array of brilliant products, making me want to create my own products or apps.
Around that time, as I was skimming through the driver's license handbook, I saw how a breathalyzer would be used to determine if a driver were intoxicated. This made me wonder why breathalyzers were only being used to convict drunk drivers, instead of to prevent the issue. This encouraged me to devise methods to have breathalyzers integrated into cars, so that the engine would not start unless the driver was sober. The idea excited me, but after some research, I came to know that it was already being developed. I was disappointed, but am still working on making these existing ideas better and more accessible. I plan to submit the report to the Indian government and NGOs. Through Electrical Engineering, I can equip myself with skills to turn many other abstract ideas into practical reality, and this is what drives me to pursue it.
