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"enthusiasm, energy, to help achieve my goals" - My FIT college entry



Tracy1224 1 / 1  
Mar 31, 2011   #1
What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you are applying to? We'd like you to tell us in an essay. This is your chance to tell us more about your experiences, activities and accomplishments. (No more than 750 words, please.)

In Fall 96' I was a full time student at FIT. I was in a rough economical situation. I went in as an EOP and full financial aid student but sooner or later because of my situation I had to get a full time job and go to school in the evening. I lost my financial aid and had to fully pay my tuition. I was helping my struggling parents financially as I also went to school full time. My job was demanding, so the little time I had to study was either during lunch or weekends. I worked for an executive search firm as a research associate with little time to focus on my studies. I was very young with a lot of responsibilities at the time. My Grades were average with the potential of being a lot better but I felt my financial situation was stressing me to a point where I knew, I couldn't continue to pay for school. I dropped out of school and continued to work but there's not a day that passed by that I've had no remorse or regrets.

I am now older and more focused on my career path. I want to continue to elevate my career with the education and assistance of FIT. Though, it took me eleven years to get here, I feel its never too late to finish what I started; It's putting my heart into what I fully believe in.

I have worked for fashion companies like, Ecko Unlimited and Club Monaco. I was the Creative Services Coordinator for Ecko Unlimited and assisted the Director of Creative services. It was a real hands on job where I had many inputs in meetings, photo shoots and model castings. I also worked at Club Monaco as an Office manager and had the experience of working with human resources department and Public relations. I got the chance to learn how each department worked. I fell in love with the textile sourcing department. I learned about fabric sourcing, textile printing, and that's where my passion for textile was awakened. I had little to no experience with textile so I was limited on what I could do. After seeing that my knowledge in the fashion industry was very limited, I am determined to get my degree to help me pursue the career I always wanted. FIT will not only give me credibility but also introduce me to programs that would open a lot of doors within my future. I am a perfect candidate for FIT because I love fashion not just the dressing part but the process of what makes fashion. The art of textile, I have taken time to learn on my own how to create block patterns, and distinguish various natural fiber fabrics and synthetics.

I choose textile Development and Marketing as a career because it's always changing and it's never the same. There are so many different aspects to textile Development that make it so exciting to deal with on a daily basis. Marketing is fierce and competitive and always keeps you on your toes, each day there is something new to look forward to, a new challenge, a new trend to catch up, always something. They are both something that will never fade and have endless career choices and possibilities. Textile intrigues me and is something I look forward to learning about everyday.

As for me returning back to school, well, I have to admit its a bit intriguing in my mid thirties; I however, want to accomplish my goals. My hard work and motivation will make everything possible. I can offer FIT my dedication, hardworking abilities, and the chance to try and bring something new. In the future, I hope that all of the time and effort I have invested in my education will lead me to owning my company. I'm hoping to have the opportunity to attend FIT and prove that I have the enthusiasm, energy, to help achieve my goals.

Metrah777 2 / 3  
Apr 2, 2011   #2
In Fall 96' I was a full time student at FIT. While beingI was in a rough economical situation I went in as an EOP and full financial aid student, but sooner or later because of my situation I had to get a full time job and go to school in the evening. DespiteI lost losing my financial aid and had to fully paying my tuition I was helping my struggling parents financially as I also went to school full time. My job was demanding, so the little time I had to study was either during lunch or weekends. I worked for an executive search firm as a research associate with little time to focus on my studies. I was very young with a lot of responsibilities at the time. My Grades were average with the potential of being a lot better, but I felt my financial situation was stressful to a point where I knew, I couldn't continue to pay for school. I dropped out of school and continued to work but there is not a day that passed by that I've had no remorse or regrets.

I am nowBeingmatureolder and more focused on my career path I want to continue to elevate my career with the education and assistance of FIT. AlthoughThough , it took me eleven years to get here, I feel its never too late to finish what I started byIt's putting my heart into what I fully believe in.

I have worked for fashion companies like, Ecko Unlimited and Club Monaco.where I was the Creative Services Coordinator for Ecko Unlimited and assisted the Director of Creative services. It was a real hands- on job where I had many inputs in meetings, photo shoots and model castings. I also worked at Club Monaco as an Office manager and had the experience of working with human resources department and Public relations.

Please fix most of your sentences that start with "I" because it will sound vague overtime.
I got the chance to learn how each department worked and I fell in love with the textile sourcing department. I learned about fabric sourcing, textile printing, and that's where my passion for textile was awakened. I had little to no experience with textile so I was limited on what I could do. After seeing that my knowledge in the fashion industry was very limited, I am determined to get my degree to help me pursue the career I always wanted. FIT will not only give me credibility but also introduce me to programs that would open a lot of doors within my future. I am a perfect candidate for FIT because I love fashion not just the dressing part but the process of what makes fashion. The art of textile, I have taken time to learn on my own how to create block patterns, and distinguish various natural fiber fabrics and synthetics.

I choose textile Development and Marketing as a career because it's always changing and it's never the same. There are so many different aspects to textile Development that make it so exciting to deal with on a daily basis. Marketing is fierce and competitive and always keeps you on your toes, each day there is something new to look forward to, a new challenge, a new trend to catch up, always something. They are both something that will never fade and have endless career choices and possibilities. Textile intrigues me and is something I look forward to learning about everyday.

As for me returning back to school, well, I have to admit its a bit intriguing in my mid thirties; I however, want to accomplish my goals. My hard work and motivation will make everything possible. I can offer FIT my dedication, hardworking abilities, and the chance to try and bring something new. In the future, I hope that all of the time and effort I have invested in my education will lead me to owning my company. I'm hoping to have the opportunity to attend FIT and prove that I have the enthusiasm, energy, to help achieve my goals.

Overall the essay is good it has lost of past history and your experience, but it needs some more work on sentence structure ;)
OP Tracy1224 1 / 1  
Apr 3, 2011   #3
thank you for your help. greatly, appreciated.

That's what I am having problems with not using the "I's". aside the sentence structure. ;-)
EF_Kevin 8 / 13052  
Apr 3, 2011   #4
maybe financial is better than economical at the beginning... I am not sure you are using "economical" correctly.

Do not capitalize here: My Grades grades were average with the ...

Do not capitalize here: to finish what I started; it's putting my ...

As for me returning back to school, well, I have to admit its a bit intriguing in my mid thirties; I however, want to accomplish my goals. My hard work and motivation will make everything possible. I can offer FIT my dedication, hardworking abilities, and the chance to try and bring something new. The reader probably is even older, so don't alienate the reader by acting like you are old in your 30s. It's still young!

In the future, I hope that all of the time and effort I have invested in my education will lead me to owning my company. This is too general. The whole last paragraph is too general. You should have specific examples and details. Do not just say, "I work hard," and I want to achieve goals, etc... "own my company." It is all too general. Give the reader some specific examples of the specializations that interest you and the specific contributions you want to make to society. :-)


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