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What was the environment in which you were raised? APPLY TEXAS ESSAY A



adamalonzo123 2 / 3  
Dec 31, 2017   #1
Prompt: What was the environment in which you were raised? Describe your family, home, neighborhood or community, and explain how it has shaped you as a person.

-i know this is long, but I had too much to say. My other essays are about 400 words and this one is 850.

the times I try to forget



The most memorable moments in my life are times I try to forget. Nevertheless, I am grateful for all the pain. Whenever I have doubts in myself, the pain triggers the thought of my parents, then my doubts are overcome by motivation and confidence.

I have been lucky enough to grow up with parents who never separated. I am the middle child of three and have lived in poor neighborhoods up until three years ago since we got a new home. At the foundation of my family is the sport basketball. My dad has played his whole life and had us play since we were all four years old. My dad loves the sport in a way that may be viewed as unhealthy, but it is what keeps our family together. We have played our whole life together, so most of our communication revolves around basketball. Because of this, I had the opportunity to be coached by several great people who taught me many values that I will carry through my life. However, all my coaches do not equate to the unique impact my mom and dad have had on me.

At an early age I did not like my dad because I felt mistreated. He will always be my biggest critic. As I grew up, my mom helped me realize that he is extremely strict because he wants the best for me. I remember a time when I was fifteen and I gave up in the last minute of a basketball game before the game was over. As a result, my dad cursed me out, took my phone, and grounded me for a month. In the moment I did not understand why his punishment was so unproportionable to what I did. Over the years I began to realize that he was teaching me that whatever I decide to do in life, I must give 100% effort and never give up. In simpler terms, my dad is someone who I respect for teaching me the value of dedication. He is really someone I inspire to be because of his commitment to practicing what he preaches. He has characteristics that I dislike; however, if I learn to adopt his positive traits, then I am confident that if I apply myself, I will achieve my goals.

Acceptance and understanding is how I would describe my mom. No matter their race, sexuality, or religion, my mother we are all equal. A thought I will carry to my grave is her favorite line, "be nice to someone new today". These are the words my brothers and I heard every single morning when my mom drops us off at school. She represents everything in a person that I want to become someday. Because of her, I try to be kind to everyone. However, like everyone, she isn't perfect. I've never talked to anyone about this, but my mom had a drug problem. With the help of a program, she has been clean for over four years. When I found out, I was uncontrollably angry and sad. I didn't understand how someone so strong and wonderful could do that, but as years went by I believe I processed it well. Although I don't know what it is like to have financial problems, three children, and a stubborn husband, I do understand that even the best people can make mistakes. All of this has really expanded my horizon of compassion and understanding. I have grown tremendously as a person for it. I find myself critically thinking about issues from different perspectives. Along with this experience, she has given me insight into the kind of person that I want to be, which is open minded.

There were times I was sad because my parents would yell and argue with each other every day. Despite that, they never separated. After weeks of arguing, they sat me down and explained that they will work it out eventually. They explained that in life I will face problems that may feel overwhelming, but the worst thing any person can do is give up. Because of these kinds of moments, I am confident that when I reach college I will have the abilities to overcome any challenge I face. Seeing my parents repair their relationship has made me mentally tougher. If I want something bad enough, I know with the right mindset and dedication anything is possible. Growing up with around this has helped me conceptualize that it may be easier to give up, but overcoming adversity is possible with a relentless mindset.

A seventeen-year-old knows very little about life. I'm no different, however, my parents have put me on the right path by giving me all the tools I need to achieve my goals. I have learned from my dad that discipline and dedication are essential not only for college, but life as well. With the world that we live in today, my mom has showed me that empathy is the greatest virtue. I aspire to reflect the positive qualities each of my parents have because I know they continue to make me the person I want to be.

UltimaWeapon 3 / 4  
Dec 31, 2017   #2
"... in a way that may be viewed as unhealthy" <- unless you are going to explain how your dad's love in basketball is unhealthy, I think you should delete this part and reword the sentence, since it might distract the admissions or raise unnecessary suspicion.

"Because of this, I had the opportunity(...) and dad have had on me." <- I suggest you delete this sentence too.

In case your essay go over the word limit, I suggest you delete the first paragraph and simplify your second paragraph to one or two sentences. Good luck!
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 15344  
Dec 31, 2017   #3
Adam, the common app essays have a standard 650 maximum word requirement, unless otherwise specified. I don't advice you to try and submit 850 words in the electronic form because your essay will not go through. In these instances, you should aim to write 500 words instead. That gives you enough words to fully express yourself, without boring the reviewer with an extremely long narrative or a confusing essay that goes all over the place. In this case, writing 850 words made your essay jump about, creating a severe case of TMI for the reviewer. You have to cut it down because, aside from the system not accepting your essay, the reviewer will not have the time to read an extremely long tale. In my observation, I believe you can remove the discussion about basketball with your father and focus instead on how you felt mistreated by him. Then discuss your relationship with your mother. Omit the part about them fighting and sitting you down to explain to you because that is really going overboard in the information section. Remember, the discussion is not about the way your parents worked through the rough patches of their marriage, the essay is about how good or how bad parents they were to you individually or as a team. Keep the essay short but informative. Otherwise, this essay will pose a number of problems related to content and word count that you won't be able to overcome at the last minute.


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