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Everything is about Choices- COMMON APP/ Hardships



jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 4, 2013   #1
There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

Choices
There is a time in our life, when we realize that everything is about choices. We have the liberty of choosing how to live, how to reach, perhaps how to fall. I made the one who brought me here, and I could regret it, because it is been more difficult than I thought it could be, but I do not, because with time I learned to rise from the deepest hole, stronger, and wiser. My experience taught me that languages, economic resources, and lack of good education are not excuses, nor barriers. And if somebody asks, my answer is no, I am not stopping here.

Who would have known, that a letter would change my life forever? I received my appointment to the U.S. Consulate in Ciudad Juarez to finish with the process of my U.S. Residency 1 Year ago; my mind was struggling to determine whether I was happy, or worried of the eminent destruction of my life. Most of my family was here, but in Mexico, I was just about to leave behind my plans, school, friends... my happiness. One day, my mind froze with the words of my mother - Is your choice -. After a couple of non-sleeping days, I realized that life is about sacrifices, and taking risks. One week after, I was on a road pointing straight forward to the United States of America.

Communication, I found how important it was when I wasn't able to perform it. My eyes became watery when I bought a t-shirt and I stood there trying to understand what "Do you have a quarter?" means. Those days were full of regret, my mind did not think of anything else but failure and impotence. What was I thinking when I believed that the education that I have always dreamed was possible? When I was seeing myself standing with pride wearing one of those gowns and holding a diploma in my hands? Until I understood how difficulties can turn into motivation along with the portals toward achievements.

Yes, I have always been limited. The economic resources of my family have never been plenty. In many ways that has been an obstacle, in others, it has been a fear, but also, it has been my force. Since I was going to go to College for free in Mexico, the high amount of money that the higher education costs took me by surprise. I admit that is one reason for which my dreams got torn in a certain moment. I discovered that my family cannot help me, even if they want too, but I realized, too, that papers with values are not going to stop me, they have not did it before, and they are not going to do it now. I am going to give every part of me to make my dreams a reality, what is the purpose of our life if not put everything into our desires to make them true? I know that effort pays back, and not necessarily with money.

I arrived to the conclusion, that blaming my school for the lack of good education that faces is worthless. It might be a disadvantage, but I see it as an opportunity to learn how to improve myself. I knew that it was not going to be easy to teach myself what my school could not, but I am, because there is something that I desire, and that is what pushes me to give my entire life in order to get it. I thank, at the end, this challenge, because it showed me that I should ask myself everyday: "Why should I stop learning, why should I limit myself"? I look forward to be able to answer the same, everyday: "I should not, and I will not".

I understand now, how everything is about choices. I chose to rise from the deepest holes, I chose, to sacrifice my entire life to make my dreams a reality, to learn a language with a shortage of time, to fight strong, to dream big. I learned to see lights through the shadows of the challenges. Since then, I promised me to see every one as a learning experience. And I promised me, that I would never stop, no matter how many times I fall, or how difficult is. I believe that this is nothing compared with what I want to accomplish, then I can tell, that if somebody asks, my answer is no, I am not stopping here.

THANK YOU ALL OF YOU

You make this community what it is, thank you

dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 5, 2013   #2
I made the one whothat(you are talking about a choice and not a person) brought me here, and I could regret it, because it is been more difficult than I thought it could be, but I do not, because with time I learned to rise from the deepest hole, stronger, and wiser.

This sentence is too long and contains too much details. I think it's one of the most important lines in your essay as it is signalling about what happened in your life. However, you should not have too much stuff in one sentence that makes the reader tired of remembering every little detail. I wish you re-pharse this line.

My experience taught me that languages, economic resources, and lack of good education are not excuses, nor barriers.

My experience taught me that there are no real barriers such as language, education or money in front of determination.
OP jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 5, 2013   #3
I like your suggestion so much! Thank you, I will edit it. Overall, what can I do better?

I appreciate your time
OP jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 9, 2013   #4
I edited my Essay changind several parts, I really really need help from all of you! ANY, help is highly appreciated. Thank you.
Choices
There is a time in our life, when we realize that everything is about choices. We have the liberty of choosing how to live, how to reach, perhaps how to fall. I made one that brought me here, even thought I could regret it, I do not, because besides the difficulties I faced, I learned to rise from the deepest hole, stronger, and wiser. My experience taught me that there are no real barriers such as language, money or education in front of determination. If somebody were to ask me if I feel satisfied with myself, my answer would be no, because I am not stopping here.

Who would have known, that a letter would change my life forever? I received my appointment to the U.S. Consulate in Ciudad Juarez to finish with the process of my U.S. Residency 1 year ago. My mind was struggling to determine whether I was happy, or worried of the eminent destruction of my life. Most of my family was here, but in Mexico, I was just about to leave behind my plans, school, friends... my happiness. One day, my mind froze with the words of my mother - It is your choice -. After a couple of non-sleeping days, I realized that life is about sacrifices, and taking risks. One week after, I was on a road pointing straight forward to the United States of America.

Communication, I found out how important it was when I wasn't able to perform it. My soul was destroyed when I bought a t-shirt and I stood there trying to understand the meaning of "Do you have a quarter?" that the cashier was asking to me. Those days were full of regret, my mind did not think of anything else but failure and impotence. Was the education that I have always dreamed even possible? My mind was negative, until I understood how difficulties can turn into motivation along with the portals toward achievements.

Yes, I have always been limited. The economic resources of my family have never been plenty. In many ways they have been an obstacle, in others, they have been a fear, but also they have been my force. Since I was going to go to College for free in Mexico, the high amount of money that the higher education in the United States costs took me by surprise. I admit that is one reason for which my dreams got torn in a certain moment. I discovered that my family cannot help me, even if they want to, but I realized too, that the money is not powerful enough to stop me, it has not done it before, and is not going to do it now. I am going to give every part of me to make my dreams a reality; there is no other purpose in my life than doing so. I know that effort pays back, and not necessarily with money.

I arrived to the conclusion, that blaming my school for the lack of good education that it faces is worthless. It might be a disadvantage, but I see it as an opportunity to learn how to improve myself. I knew that it was not going to be easy to teach myself what my school could not, but I am, because that is my desire, and it pushes me to give everything I can in order to accomplish it. I thank, at the end, this challenge, as all the other challenges that I have faced, they showed me that I should ask myself everyday: "Why should I limit myself to the standard"? I look forward to answering myself: "I should not, and I will not".

I understand now, how everything is about choices. I chose to rise from the deepest holes, I chose, to sacrifice my entire life to make my dreams come true, to learn a language with a shortage of time, to fight strong, and to dream big. My mind realized that from all of the risks that I have taken, the only one that I would not take is not having taken any. I learned to see lights through the shadows of the challenges. Since then, my promise was to see every one as a learning experience, and that I would never stop, no matter how many times I fall, or how difficult it becomes. I believe that what comes next will be even more challenging, but I believe, too, that every challenge will take the best of me, I choose success. I can tell, then, that If somebody were to ask me if I feel satisfied with myself, my answer would be no, because I am not stopping here.
dumi 1 / 6793  
Feb 10, 2013   #5
I made one that brought me here, eventhoughtthough I could regret it, I do not, because besides the difficulties I faced, I learned to rise from the deepest hole, stronger, and wiser.

Well... this puts the reader in a very ambiguous state by letting him wonder what you are going to say... I think it's better you give some idea as to what happened in early parts of your essay rather than getting them to read the whole essay. You should arouse curiosity but you should do it with utmost care without having them loosing their interest in reading your answer. So, my advice for you is to come to the point sooner and not later.
OP jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 10, 2013   #6
I think that i'm realizing that what you are saying is that I should make the essay more interesting, because you don't feel triggered to read the whole thing.

What about something like:

There is a time in our life, when we realize that everything is about choices. We have the liberty of choosing how to live, how to reach, perhaps how to fall. Who would choose to leave behind the opportunity of a scholarship in a well rated university, and a entire life as how it was? I did, and even though I could regret it, I do not, because besides the difficulties I faced, I learned to rise from the deepest hole, stronger, and wiser.

I'm running out of ideas and my deadline is approaching so fast, I have less than 1 Week.

Thank you for your help
Th25cc 2 / 90  
Feb 11, 2013   #7
I remember your writing that i looked over several weeks ago and I have to say that this is far better than anything I ever saw in the past. If you make any changes to this essay and need further revision, I'll try to help you out and edit/revise.

Good luck! I hope you go far.
OP jorgearmando18 8 / 32  
Feb 11, 2013   #8
Thank you very much! It really motivates me a lot, and of course, ANY help is totally appreciated.

You have a great one
orkhan 12 / 19  
Feb 12, 2013   #9
excellent essay


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