I clearly remember sitting motionless in the passenger seat in my mom's car on one of the many grim winter days of my sophomore year. I was numb, unable to feel or think about what was happening at school. For two months, I had been carefully burying the truth, telling myself it wasn't a big deal and that I was being overly sensitive. But as I sat there that day, remembering every typed word, I knew it was time to do something. As I began to tell my mom, I felt a sense of relief knowing that I would no longer have to keep up the appearance of a bubbly teenager.
During freshman year, my group of friends broadened and I was quickly drawn into a much more exciting social world. The seemingly effortless and natural friendships I had established were abruptly disrupted sophomore year when several boys decided to tighten the social circle by eliminating those they deemed unworthy. Their primary weapon was the written word on a blog and I was their main target.
Many of their blog entries were made during my classes, which was hurtful and embarrassing as classmates read about me daily. Some comments were initially funny but within two months became sexually explicit and life threatening. My social life, which had always been a source of comfort at school, had become a daily nightmare.
In January, the school discovered the blog and seven boys were suspended. The aftermath was very difficult given all that had been written, the small size of our school and the fact that I was still in classes with most of the boys upon their return. For the remainder of the year, it felt like I was under a microscope with classmates and teachers watching my every move.
That summer, I reflected on what had been the most difficult period in my life and began the process of moving forward. I decided to stay at my high school even though many suggested I transfer. While I knew it would not be easy to return after experiencing such intense humiliation and betrayal, it was what I wanted to do.
I was nervous as I started my junior year, but was determined to re-establish myself both socially and academically. While I had previously been somewhat reserved in class, in my junior year I pushed myself to actively participate in discussions. I did not withdraw from social situations like I had sophomore year, but instead looked for ways to get involved. I also poured myself into my passion of working with children as a tutor at a local public school, which was very empowering, rewarding, and therapeutic. While my junior year was not easy, it was a success.
As I walked through the doors of my high school the first day of my senior year, I had a newfound inner confidence. The overwhelming panic I had experienced as a sophomore and daily nervousness as a junior were gone. After two very challenging years, I was at peace with myself.
My tumultuous sophomore year, though very painful at the time, ultimately acted as a catalyst for immense personal growth. While I have regained the bubbly and optimistic outlook I started high school with three years ago, I am a changed person in several important ways. I have a much clearer sense of what matters to me and now know I can fight through major adversity. Most importantly, I have developed a deep and unshakable belief in myself that is no longer dependent on others' validation.
I think this is a really great essay, it shows how you overcame your fears and challenges over the 3 year span while displaying little tidbits about your personality and interests without being obvious. The use of figures of speech is nicely done as well. The experience is very realistic and does not sound contrived and I think the admissions officers will be just delighted and drawn in as I was with your success. I can't find any grammar mistakes so I'll rap up by saying you did a bloody good job!
Hope this helps!
& if you wouldn't mind checking out one of my essays I'd appreciate it. Thanks!
