This is my main commonapp essay. I'm a borderline applicant and I need this to be really good. However, writing isn't really my forte. Please be harsh and critique it as much as possible :)
Does anyone think I need to completely rewrite it on a different topic?
Sometimes I feel like I should.
USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.
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As she took a seat across from me, the disposition of her weathered face conveyed an existence that could transgress the limits of any ordinary imagination. With pen and notepad in hand, I looked at the wrinkled visage of my grandmother. At age twelve, I had been given an assignment to document my ancestry, an assignment which would become exponentially more significant than I realized at the time.
Does anyone think I need to completely rewrite it on a different topic?
Sometimes I feel like I should.
USC's speaker series "What Matters to Me and Why" asks faculty and staff to reflect on their values, beliefs, and motivations. Presenters talk about choices they have made, difficulties encountered, and commitments solidified. Write an essay about an event or experience that helped you learn what is important to you and why it is important.
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As she took a seat across from me, the disposition of her weathered face conveyed an existence that could transgress the limits of any ordinary imagination. With pen and notepad in hand, I looked at the wrinkled visage of my grandmother. At age twelve, I had been given an assignment to document my ancestry, an assignment which would become exponentially more significant than I realized at the time.
