Prompt #2 Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
I remember the first time I walked into the depreciated building. There were many men in military uniform and I was quite timid. I then looked over and saw a man who stood in front of a large formation and it was at that moment I realized I wanted to be powerful and respected just like that man.
Once I was recruited for the Civil Air Patrol, my parents never ceased to mention my stunning alteration in attitude and bearing. I quickly realized that this particular program was extremely physically and mentally demanding. Due to this particular reason, I developed an efficient work ethic which made me who I am today.
This mind set definitely helped me improve my rank in CAP. To move up ranks in the program, extreme amounts of effort, dedication, and commitment are required. Some may say you would have to be excessive to progress in this program and I completely agree with them. Since CAP is the auxiliary of the Air Force, a large amount of the classes taught associate with aerospace, moral leadership, radio communications, etc. Through this medley of classes I was able to improve my leadership abilities. I believe I have learned many valuable assets such as time management, attention to detail, and a broad range of general information which will benefit me elsewhere.
My leadership abilities have been refined through being the president of the ASB at my middle and high school, and becoming a flight commander in CAP. I believe with all this practice I will be able to use it to overcome difficult situations when confronted with them.
The first step to becoming a good leader is to be able to listen well. Most of my friends say that listening well is one of my favorable characteristics because when they forget something, I am usually the one who remembers. It is always such a satisfying feeling when somebody asks you to answer a particular question and you know the answer straight off the bat because I usually pay attention to what my friends have to say.
The second step to take to becoming a good leader is to communicate clearly and concisely. I was able to converse with a group of my closest friends almost every day for the last few years. Not only was I able to develop kinship with my fellow schoolmates but also practice expressing my moods and feelings in a clear and distinct way. This has also helped to establish a closer relationship with my teachers so that the mood whenever I am around them is much casual. This, in return, provided me with a willingness to learn something new.
The final step to be an exemplarily leader is to take care of others. I remember when I was the president of the ASB in my middle school, sometimes there were disputes to the left and right about school event agendas. It always was my job to have a clear head and choose the most rational and logical choice. I realized also same time that how significant to treat well the members of the ASB when I need to control the members of the ASB and to get a consensus from them.
As I work towards a degree in aerospace engineering, I will be able to put my leadership to good use as I listen, communicate, and care for others. It will benefit me because this valuable skill will stay with me though out college and the rest of my life. I can benefit the society by teaching others how to gain the traits of a good leader so that they could lead and go on to teach others.
it seems that you're a genius, just make sure your grades correspond to your essay, or they'll know that you're over exaggerating. it's a good essay but i feel that it doesnt flow that well. maybe because you're bouncing around too many topics
Its a well written paper. You might want to read over to correct minute errors.
As far as altering things go, in the beginning, you say you want to be "powerful and respected" but that concept is nowhere to be referenced throughout the paper except for what can be derived from being a leader. It might be more focused by putting "leader" instead of it. Just an idea
Through this medley of classes I was able to improve my leadership abilities. I believe I have learned many valuable assets such as time management, attention to detail, and a broad range of general information which will benefit me elsewhere. -Mashing it together and trying to conclude without drifting somewhere else
It is always such a satisfying feeling when somebody asks you to answer a particular question and you know the answer straight off the bat because I usually pay attention to what my friends have to say -I don't understand after because. Best to touch it up
Your paragraph on clear and concise communication, I didn't find it to be really powerful. Curious as to why you didn't reference your communication role in middle or high school when president
Like i said, it is a well-written paper.
Can you help me with mine?
There were many men in military uniform, and I was quite timid. I then looked over and saw a man who stood in front of a large formation and it was at that moment I realized I wanted to be powerful and respected just like that man. ---at the end of this introduction paragraph, it seems like your goal is superficial. Do you really only want to wear a uniform and be powerful, or do you feel strongly about something that makes you want to contribute?
Mindset is one word.
Okay, I see that the essay is actually all about requirements for good leadership, so introduce this concept somewhere in the intro paragraph. Also, it would be good if you expressed an interest in being powerful/disciplined not for its own sake but out of dedication to an ideal or something you feel strongly about.
:-)
