For the past few years, I have been practicing jiu-jitsu. Although it sounds foreign, it's what you'd expect from a martial art- pushups, grunting, and practice. However, jiu-jitsu isn't like other martial arts. It's not about pure strength, or enduring pain. It's about art, knowledge, and steadfastness. My mentor said that jiu-jitsu was about picking a goal, and then doing all you could to achieve it. In essence, jiu-jitsu mirrors the struggles of life. You start on the bottom with a goal, and you try to achieve it. Just as you struggle in multiple ways in life, so too do you try to pass the guard in different ways in jiu-jitsu. But in both, if you lose sight of your original goal, and just focus on the first step, you lose sight of the goal. Focus on the goal, and the steps will come. Don't focus only on the steps, otherwise you risk losing sight of your goal. In other words, if you get lost in the intricacies of the "how's", you lose sight of the "why".
This is my short answer for my CommonApp.
If you could comment on it with helpful suggestions I would be much obliged.
Hello. It may be helpful to know which specific essay prompt you answered from the CommonApp. This will help in reviewing your essay. Here is some general feedback:
- Overall, I think this is a good start. Speaking about your jiujitsu experience is eye-catching, it grabs attention right away. (It is also just super cool.)
- As with many college application essays, you will be evaluated, in part, on your ability to make a connection between past/current experience and your potential to do well in college. In writing your particular experience, ask yourself these questions: How is my experience of jiujitsu applicable to college studies and college life? How is the discipline and handwork inherent in the martial arts beneficial to me as a student? What are lessons learned and strengths/skills learned through the practice that I can translate to my college experience?
- Try to be as specific as possible without being wordy. As a general rule, avoid adjectives and adverbs unless absolutely necessary.
This is my short answer for my CommonApp.
If you could comment on it with helpful suggestions I would be much obliged. Good luck!
Thank you guys very, very much, I really appreciate it.
Have a wonderful day. (night?)
Here is my new answer to the extracurricular activity elaboration on the commonapp- is it okay?
Since 2009, I have been practicing jiu-jitsu. Although it sounds foreign, after training in both kung-fu and krav maga for 6 years, it's what I had expected from a martial art- pushups, grunting, and practice. However, jiu-jitsu is different than the other martial arts. My mentor said that rather than being about punching and kicking, jiu-jitsu is about picking a goal to achieve. It is about keeping sight of your goal and figuring out multiple ways to achieve it- not just one. If you can't pass the guard one way, you go around another way. It's about persistence, patience, and ingenuity. Jiu-jitsu has made me realize that you can solve almost anything if you just keep plugging away at it. It has helped me recognize that there is seldom only one way to get the answer to a question- that if you just take a deep breath and focus, you'll realize that you were sitting in a fork in the road the whole time, and that you were too bogged down to see your other options.
That's a unique activity you got there. Itwill be really helpful on your resume and stuff also.
