I've been facing some difficult issues; Yale SUPP

2.) Please respond in 150 characters (roughly 25 words) or fewer to each of the questions below:

a. You have been granted a free weekend next month. How will you spend it?
I will take some time off from my real life and travel to some place far and relaxing, probably to some country in Asia or Oceania.

c. What is the best piece of advice you have received while in high school?
''Never give up on your dreams and study because knowledge is a treasure that no one can take away from you.''

d. What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I were a more practical person. Usually, I like to think and create something more than actually do. (does it make sense?)

1E). In this essay, please reflect on something you would like us to know about you that we might not learn from the rest of your application, or on something about which you would like to say more. You may write about anything-from personal experiences or interests to intellectual pursuits. (Please answer in 500 words or less.)

I've been facing some difficult issues during my life such as my mother's disorder and a sexual abuse, but instead of bringing me down, these problems made me become a strong and caring person. They allowed me to learn important lessons that perhaps I wouldn't be able to learn in another situation. They made me have a sense of helping others.

Being that, I still remember my first visit to a rest home with a few friends. When we arrived there, we sang some songs, gave them donations and then we started to talk with them. I talked to many people, but there's one old lady that I can't forget about. She was really old and couldn't walk anymore, besides that, she was outgoing and once we began talking, she immediately started to tell me about her life before going there, her family, children and how happy she was. After telling me her previous life, her face began to look sad and it didn't take me too long to understand why. She said that she rarely saw her family, even her children didn't visit her often. She felt alone, however, for the first time in weeks, she was able to feel happy again due to our visit. She finally had someone different to talk to, someone that would listen to her and care.

When I was leaving she asked me not to go and stay a little longer. In that moment I felt amazing and realized how important was to do that. Being able to bring some happiness and make a difference in the life of that old woman was more than incredible to me. This experience made me reflect about how we can help and touch people's lives even when what we're doing seems to be so little.

In order to help not only elderly but also children, I began a project teaching English at my church for children that can't afford it. It may seem not so much, but looking at those children and seeing their improvement make everything worths because I know that with this, one day, they'll be able to change their lives and make their dreams come true. I realize that I'm lucky to have had a good education and the conscious to do something to change my situation. However, unfortunately, not everyone has the same opportunities and knows how much he or she can achieve if only he or she tries. For this reason, in the future, I plan to create a NGO to help these children, especially the ones who suffered some kind of trauma. I strongly believe that with support and help they need, they'll be able to achieve more than they can imagine.

(does it sound cliche? is it too much?? should i remove some part??)

I feel like you would be better off with an answer that was far more revealing of your identity and your personality. Something you love to do but don't often get the time to do. Your answer as it is right now seems somewhat generic - is there a country that interests you in particular, if so why is it you'd like to go there?

Your piece of advice was nice - it further emphasized your point in your essay about how you value education. Perhaps if you have the room you could say who gave the advice, adds more of you to it beyond the quotation marks.

Your answer for d. needs some clarification - the way you've answered it can be interpreted in various ways because of the word 'practical'. Do you mean you wish you did less imagining and conceptualizing and more making your idea a reality?


- This first sentence draws the reader in for sure, but you need to clarify whether these problems are persisting in your life or are in the past.

If present, then: I've been facing some difficult issues in my life
If past, then: I've faced some difficult issues during my life


Avoids using the verb talking twice


The rest of your sentence was in the past tense, this should be too.


Alternatively - Despite this, she was outgoing...



I'm not sure about using the word amazing, or give more detail as to why you felt that way.


By using the word started you're indicating that you founded the project. Began would make less sense.



Perhaps describe more about how your future NGO would tackle the issues. It would give the reader the sense that more than being a project to be done in the future, you've already started to plan it because you are committed to seeing it done.

I like the essay overall, it tackles something that's clearly close to your heart - your past, how you acted on your past, the crucial moment, what you've done since then and what you plan to do. Good structure. I tried to help out as much as possible with the grammar and all, but hopefully others will be able to pick up on the things I missed.

Good luck :)

Yes, in letter d, it was exactly what I wanted to say, but I was not sure if I had done it right, I'll try to make it better. Thank you so much!! You have no idea of how this was helpful!!

ChickenLadder
my mother's disorder is still a problem, but not the other problem, do you think that is worth mentioning that it only happened during my childhood to make it clearer?

If you do something like this it could work:
"I've faced some difficult issues during my life, such as my mother's persistent disorder and a sexual abuse incident in my childhood "

You may need to give more detail on the disorder just so the reader is more familiar of the type of challenges you are facing with her. Your introduction didn't give enough context for the reader to make assumptions about her disorder (and there can be many types), but if you write down what it is, it indicates much more easily the nature of the issues.

Hope this helps :)

Thanks, it helps a lot! I already wrote my common app essay about my mother disorder and how it affected me, thats why I didn't give many details about that, but I will add the name of the disorder. Thank you so much!