'Failure is evil' - Stanford: What Matter most?

What matters most to you and why? (I apologize ahead of time if this should've gone under the other thread. I couldn't edit it)

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I am a culmination of failures.

Failure is like the evil twin brother of success. It is a mistake, something almost no one wants. The words "I'm a failure," are said in despair. Most people hate failing. Even society hates failing. When was the last time the media praised figureheads for their failures? However, I value failure for what it is and it has become increasingly important to me. I can now say with conviction that it is something I value the most. When I tell others of this, they are often surprised. After all, who wants to try their hardest only to fail? Well I assure you that none of the screws in my brain are loose. I never strive to fail. I simply utilize my failures.

Failure is what I make it to be. It gives me choice. I can see it as an opportunity or a dead end. I can view it as my arch-nemesis, waiting to prey on my when I am weakest, or I can see it as my good friend, critiquing me and lecturing me as I go about my daily life. Not so with successes. Successes can only be a victory and they end at that. When I was younger, I believed that I could be anything I wanted to be and succeed in anything I did. However, as I grew up I realized that such a thing was impossible. I had my limitations. So I choose to learn to discover from my failures and make it an extension of myself. Failures have taught me to follow my passion, to solve problems in new ways, to express myself, and to care as much about others as myself. I find it hard to imagine myself to be the same had I not chosen to learn from my failures; My failures defined me. However, I still strive to succeed; it shows that my hard work has paid off. But, I embrace failure like an old friend, who has walked with me throughout my life. After all, who else would critique my every action? Not only that, but it also makes success oh so sweet.

I am a patchwork of failures, and this has made me a success.
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Thank you very much!

Overall, I like your essay. However, the main issue I have with it is the fact that you don't give specific examples to your life about how failure has changed you and made you better.


How? I thought you would go on to explain this in your next paragraph, but you don't.


What passion? What problems? How have you expressed yourself? How have you show how you care for others? While these are all salient reasons, the lack of personal detail turns me off to the essay and makes me think that it could be applied to almost anyone. Like you said, everyone has failures. How have YOUR specific failures changed you into the person that you are now?


Should be "my".


I believe it should be [The words, "I'm a failure," are said in despair.]


[waiting to prey on "me" when I am "weak"/"my weakest" (choose one or the other).]


While I do like the closing, if you alluded to the "patchwork" idea early on, perhaps in your lead sentence, it would really tie the essay together better.

It would be nice and more effective if you could attribute your ideals to a significant moment in your life.
Imagery always entices the reader (:


you dont need a comma here

ask yourself what you can add to make you essay more unique!
I liked it, nonetheless :P

I would appreciate it if you could critique my essay as well...thanks!

I do not like the double infinitive "to learn to discover." You might want to change that simply to "to learn from my failures." It makes it less wordy. Also, you contradict yourself in the second paragraph. If you are making your failures an extension of yourself then how can they define you? That means that they are you. Relating to that, I would not say that your failures define you; rather, what you have ascertained from your failures define who you are. I dislike how short your last sentence is. It kind of kills the mood. You might want to add more to it. :) Overall, I think this is a bold concept and I LIKE it! This was just a cursory edit. I'm sorry if I wasn't any help, but good luck!

Good essay and imagery but you have to talk about specific failures that affected you. This essay seems a little vague.

Thanks to everyone who commented! I'll get to this immediately (while juggling it with the Brown app... it's hard). I'll revise it soon and help everyone who has helped me :)

COMPLETE EDIT OF THE SECOND PARAGRAPH
Thank you to everyone who has helped me. I've made the second paragraph much more personal.
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I am an incomplete quilt.
Failure is like the evil twin brother of success. It is a mistake, something almost no one wants. The words, "I'm a failure," are said in despair. People, and even society, hate failing. When was the last time the media praised figureheads for their failures? However, I value failure for what it is. I can now say with conviction that I value it above all else. When I tell others of this, they are often surprised. After all, who wants to try their hardest only to fail? Well I assure you that none of the screws in my brain are loose. I never strive to fail. I simply utilize my failures.

The pivotal moment occurred when a knight took a bishop - checkmate. I had just lost my last chess match in a tournament. My final record was pitiful: one win and four losses. For a person who believed he could do anything, this was like being splashed with a bucket of cold water, dirty sewage water no less. Oddly enough, I felt liberated. I realized that I didn't have a passion for chess and that I couldn't succeed without being passionate. These tiny moments are littered throughout my life. I learned that speeches weren't my forte when my middle school teacher gave me a D on a presentation; I read off a PowerPoint and couldn't hold the interests of others. The shock made it clear that I wasn't nearly as eloquent as I thought, and so, I worked on expressing myself in new ways. Now, I can captivate others without even reading off a script! I learned that I wasn't the most important person in the world when I lost my best friend. I never realized how selfish I acted around her. From this, I learned to care about others as much as myself. I find it hard to imagine myself as a person who rejects failures; they define me. I still strive to succeed, but I embrace failure like an old friend, who has walked with me throughout my life. After all, who else would critique my every action?

I am a patchwork of failures, and this has made me a success.

Like the others said,, you need specific examples but besides that I think you should reword the part when you said you had limitations because it sounds like you contradict youself. You say that these failures help you overcome your mistakes but then your success from them would be hollow if you could not surpass your limits. I hope that makes sense but I do like the central theme of failure being flipped on its head to end on a positive note.

Thank you very much walden. But did you happen to read the first post? I completely rewrote the essay after the initial criticisms. The second draft should be right above your post. I'll go read yours now :)

HopefulApplier
ooo sorry haha, so i read th new one but the examples you put seem like thy lack support.I worked on expressing myself in new ways you did not specifically say the steps you took to improvement. The same goes for the quilt metaphor because you do not touch on it again until the end and because of that it kind of loses its effect.Lastly. I kind of feel like you contradict yourself with the chess example because earlier in the essay you say that you utilize youe failures but you end up saying that it leads you to quit...Maybe if you reword it, it would sound better but overall I like the central idea.

You said that my media reference in my essay was thrown in there and it is true but how would I fix it because I need it in there to represent the public as a whole and I may need to edit that president to senator comparison; i need it to demonstrate how positions given to us by society only have value through the power of the people sort of thing so that is why they are sort of equalized,you know wut I mean?

I see. Do all of my examples lack support? I was just trying to show that I indeed changed from my failures (I don't have enough space to go through an explanation for every single example... CURSE THE CHARACTER LIMIT). Since the examples are evidence of my first paragraph, is it really necessary to get the process of the evidence? For the chess example, I wanted to show what I did learn from playing Chess and failing it. I utilized my failure to find a part of myself. Like I can't possibly like EVERYTHING I do, so I was trying to point out that I love doing the things I do. Does that make sense? Do you think I should just scrap the initial quilt imagery and start with "Failure is evil..."?

Thank you!