"faith, family, education and sports" - Describe the world you come from?

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

This is a rough draft and any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated!!

My family has raised me to put my faith, family, education and sports as priorities in my life. They have encouraged me to put this in action by thinking of others first and improving myself by working hard and seeking a higher education. Coming from a family with three other siblings and watching my parents selflessly open their house to my two cousins and aunt for the past two years; I have been able to put this into practice. This has shaped the way I view my future and the steps I am taking towards my dreams.

Since I was six weeks old my parents have had me in the water. Whether it was through swim team, junior life guards, club water polo or the ocean I was never dry. This established my love for water polo and need to be in the water. Everyone in town knows our family to be the "water family" whether it is my sister who dives or my two brothers who are involved in swimming and water polo as well. This passion for the water also inspired my job this last summer as a swim instructor. Teaching kids from ages three to fourteen to swim has really opened my eyes to kids and how each has their own way of interpreting and learning. Not only did this job force me to learn patience, but also how to take on leadership and authority through posture, words and touch. Having a job required me to manage my time between school and water polo; there was never any time for procrastination. It taught me communication skills with parents, co-workers and of course the kids. My family is a great influence on me because of their love and support for me to bless others and live a flourishing life.

My family has raised me to keep my faith, family, education and sports as priorities in my life.

They have encouraged me to put this into action by thinking of others first, and improving myself by working hard and seeking a higher education.

... my parents selflessly open their house to my two cousins and aunt for the past two years, I have been able to put this into practice.

This has shaped the way I view my future, and the steps I am taking towards fulfilling my dreams.

Whether it was through swim team, junior life guards, club water polo or the ocean, I was never dry. ---This is great writing!

Everyone in town knows our family as the "water family", whether it is my sister who dives, ...

I think you should revise your last sentence, or at least add one just before it as a lead in. It seems like an abrupt change of subject. Other than that, it's great.

:)