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"family members around me" - FSU essay Vires Artes Mores



suzieeet 1 / -  
Sep 28, 2009   #1
Prompt:
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" (...) Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

Essay:

The Latin word "vires" signifies strength of all kinds.
Throughout my life I have built myself up to be strong because I have had family members around me who have been on the wrong side of the track, constantly setting poor examples for me to follow. The first and most hurtful was my own mother. Immediately after she and my father divorced she turned to alcohol on a daily basis to numb her emotional pain. When she remarried her situation only worsened. My stepfather enables and further encourages her drinking habits by participating himself. However, drinking for him only incurs more pain upon my mother, only this pain is physical. I don't recall the first time I realized that my mom wasn't as clumsy as she said she was, but in fact her bruises and even broken bones were a direct result of my monstrous stepfather. Over the years, the drinking and beatings have occurred more frequently and more severely, with her consistently pushing loved ones away. I love my mother, that will never change, but I do understand she is emotionally weak and the alcohol problem is hers, not mine.

Unfortunately her poor example of a quality of life has left an impression upon two of my siblings whom have fallen into the same alcohol and substance abuse. My twenty eight year old brother is a recent recovering cocaine and prescription pill abuser. However, my thirty-year-old sister is still into partying heavily, drinking daily, and goes for months without a word to any family member, despite our desperate phone calls.

Naturally having three close relatives abusing drugs and thus abusing themselves is very upsetting and painful, but I have taken their mistakes and decided to go the other route. For my sake, the road less traveled. My family situations have allowed me to become emotionally strong but also intellectually because from their mistakes I have learned to work hard for what I want and to follow the right path. I don't believe where I come from can dictate who I am, or who I will be, tying into "mores" because I have used my situation to help better my self and shape my character.

simkayla 1 / 4  
Sep 29, 2009   #2
i think you have a good story, maybe just try and shortening it somehow. The admissions has so many essays to look through and probably dont want to read all of it..
ryanthelion 1 / 4  
Sep 29, 2009   #3
I just think that you can touch on all your points without going into the details you did and you need to remember to somehow relate it back to how the traumatic event relates to the word that defines you.

your two sentence second paragraph doesn't have a lot of weight, and should be either expanded upon, somehow worked into the first paragraph, or omitted.

"Many people would take a situation such as mine and allow it to hinder them from being successful, that's not me."

It may be just me but I don't like how you assume what others would do, it just seems like everyone who writes about a traumatic experience uses it to overcome adversity and it gets to be kinda formulaic.


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