Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 5


Family Responsibilities and Duties; Business Admin (Finance) Major:)



Ajtgirl11 2 / 2  
Oct 14, 2013   #1
Prompt: "Please provide a statement (appr. 250-500 words) that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve."

The kids are screaming, enchiladas are sizzling, the washer is beeping, but I'll be damned if I don't finish this calculus problem. Looking after two kids and a baby have taught me to multitask. From a young age, I understood the responsibilities that came with being the oldest in a struggling immigrant family. I learned to cook, clean, translate and the many intricacies of baby babble well before I could drive. It was a demanding position but one I assumed with passion and love for my family.

Because of the rough financial patch our family went through, my parents had no choice but to work long hours. I was expected not only to help with household responsibilities, but also to learn everything about our small multi-service family business. At the age of 15, I began to learn everything about foreign currency exchange, tax preparation, car insurance, and car registration. I helped with everything from filing to customer service until I was old enough to obtain appropriate licenses and work there on my own.

Despite these circumstances, my desire to further my education stayed. I enrolled in community college and was taught by amazing professors that helped me pick my career path. Although my families' struggles lessened, I still face the same challenges: having to balance a job, family responsibilities, and school work loads. Due to these experiences, I am now more mature and am able to manage my responsibilities better than I did when I was younger.

Now that I am nearing the end of the "Community College" chapter in my life, I am hoping to transfer to a four year school where I can further my interest in business administration with an emphasis in finance. The circumstances my family was faced with taught me the importance of knowing how to make smart financial decisions. My goal is to become a financial advisor where I can help people make the best financial decisions for themselves, their business, or big corporations.

alextloft28 4 / 15  
Oct 14, 2013   #2
Ajtgirl11
It is very bold of your to use damned in your essay, I like it! Also try and re-word this sentence: From a young age, I understood the responsibilities that came with being the oldest in a struggling immigrant family. I learned to cook, clean, translate and the many intricacies of baby babble well before I could drive. I had to read it a couple times to understand it, that is never a good sign. Besides for hat your golden, best of luck!
dumi 1 / 6795  
Oct 15, 2013   #3
Looking after two kids and a baby have taught me to multitask.

Looking after two kids and a baby taught me to be a multitask person.

From a young age, I understood the responsibilities that came with being the oldest in a struggling immigrant family.

From a young age, being the oldest in a struggling immigrant family, I understood the duties and responsibilities towards my family.

It was a demanding position but one I assumed with passion and love for my family.

It was pretty demanding, but I did all of them with a great passion and love.

Because of the rough financial patch our family went through, my parents had no choice but to work long hours.

Because of my family's severe financial constraints, my parents had no choice but to work long hours.
OP Ajtgirl11 2 / 2  
Oct 15, 2013   #4
Thank you for your input, I really appreciate it:)!
admission2012 - / 475  
Oct 15, 2013   #5
Hello,

This is a really good essay. The only thing that I would suggest that you add would be to talk a little bit more about the resources that you plan on taking advantage of at the new institution. Once you add this, your essay will be perfect(content wise). -Admissions Advice Online

Hope this helps


Home / Undergraduate / Family Responsibilities and Duties; Business Admin (Finance) Major:)
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳