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My family's struggle with Immigration - A&M Essay Topic B



mikiibee 2 / 7  
Nov 30, 2012   #1
Okay so here is my second essay, Topic B. I would really appreciate some feedback, and I was also wondering, do you think it fully answers the question? And also, does it seem too short? I feel as if I have gotten my point across, so I do not want to write or add anymore just so it could seem longer. I would rather it be short and to the point, then too wordy and off-topic. Anyway, any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Immigration has, is, and always will be an issue for the United States. It also has, is, and always will be an issue for me, as well. While our country fights for tighter control of the border, my father and I fight to legally bring him to America in order to attend my graduation. When I walk across the stage of my graduation in just a few short months, I will be looking out to see my friends, my mother, and an empty seat where my father belongs. Naturally, it should be one of my proudest moments, but I cannot look past the idea that although my mother will be there, my father who has taken such great pride in me, will not attend. The thought that my own father will have to miss one of the most important milestone markers in my life nearly breaks my heart.

Just a few years after the divorce of my parents, my father got deported back to his country of Mexico. I was only five years old. I visit my father during holiday breaks, and we also keep in touch through social media. However, it is not nearly the same as a face to face conversation. My father has missed out on a huge part of my life because of his deportation. I know he deeply regrets the mistakes in his past, and tries to make up for it any chance he gets. He wasn't able to contribute financially to my mother because the value of the money he made in pesos converted to American Dollars was close to nothing. In order to travel as a tourist, a person needs to prove that they are financially secure. The requirements to obtain a visa, involves a long trip to another state which requires money among a long list of other requirements. Many travelers get discouraged to make such a trip because only a small percentage of people who apply are actually granted a visa. If you have a deportation on file, it is almost impossible to get a visa.

As my father continues to fight to be a part of my life, I will look forward to when I turn 21 and have the means help my father arrange his immigration status. Although I understand the need for immigration reform, I feel that the United States does not take into account the many families that they tear apart, leaving many young Hispanic children without fathers or mothers. Consequently, many young Hispanics grow up in broken homes without a strong family support system, which in turn, allows them to become high school drop outs, young pregnant teens, or other troubled young adults. It is hard to grow up with only one parent and although there is no excuse to fail, it makes it that much harder to succeed.

dumi 1 / 6793  
Nov 30, 2012   #2
Hi,

has, is, and always will be

well... I'm not in favor of this phrase : ( ....
Reason;
...just take ''has'' alone; then it reads as .... Immigration has always an issue for the United States.
This is grammatically improper! Wish you try some other way to express this;
Immigration is an issue of all times.
Or
Immigration, irrespective of time, is an issue.


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