Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 2


'family of teachers'; how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.



tonydengcnu 23 / 17  
Nov 23, 2008   #1
I was born in a family of teachers. My parents are both college teachers and my grandmother and maternal grandmother are both teachers in elementary schools. On holidays, the whole family go climbing, have picnic on the grass, play water on the beach, and enjoy the beauty of nature. We spend happy time together and this sweet memory clings to my mind for ever.

Before senior high school, my family lived in the school my parents worked for. I always joined my buddies to climb the small hill in the backyard and watched squirrels climb trees. We go skating, ride bicycles, play hide-and-seek. We also take part in various activities organized by school such as ball games, spring excursion etc. In this way I spend my childhood in such a peaceful, colorful and harmonious environment.

My parents also pay great attention to cultivating my academic interest and reading habit. On my birthday, New Year's Day, or children's day, they always give me some relevant books such as Kid Encyclopedia. In order to motivate my interest, they subscribed some magazines and journals. Since I love reading, I spend most of my allowance buying books. From books, I learn to know the society, enrich my knowledge about nature, improve problem-solving skills. I also show great interest in science. Partly influenced by Ms. Curry, I began to write dreams required by Mr. Wang. At that time, I had no hesitation but to become a scientist.

My parents endeavored to create a forgiving and encouraging family environment for me. When I was faced with the pressure from the entrance exam to senior high school, my parents told me they cared more about whether I exerted myself, rather than the result of the exam itself. So is true for me to learn violin. They want to train me to be patient, persistent and enduring. Compared with most other parents, who are demanding and severe, my parents are forgiving and understanding. This also wins my respect to them and confirms my resolution to make bigger progress.

In such an environment, I thrived happily and confidently. I am sure I will realize my scientist dream and become an honest and ambitious man and prove a great asset to all people around me.

trinilissabee - / 7  
Dec 9, 2008   #2
Hi tonydengcnu,

I'd make the opening more concise:


I was born to a family of teachers; my parents are both college teachers and both my grandmothers are elementary school teachers.

when i read the first paragraph i was unable to link the above ^ ,to the next part of the paragraph: On holidays, the whole family go climbing, have picnic on the grass, play water on the beach, and enjoy the beauty of nature. We spend happy time together and this sweet memory clings to my mind for ever.

what does one have to do with the other, i.e. what does you being born to a family of teachers have to do with going on holidays...?

My parents endeavored to create a forgiving and encouraging family environment for me...
...cared more about whether I exerted myself,...

yes, you want to use colorful vocabulary in your essay but you have to use them appropriately.

Lissa ^_^


Home / Undergraduate / 'family of teachers'; how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Need professional help with your assignments? Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳