TOPIC: What makes you a perfect candidate for FIT? Why are you interested in the major you're applying for? This is your chance to tell us about your accomplishments, experiences, and activities.
Every person has a passion in life. My passion consists of fashion and writing. Looking back to when I was a child, the moments I treasure the most were when my parents brought home books for me. I was so fascinated by words and the way they affected me in different emotional ways. My favorite childhood book, The Little Engine That Could, was one of the books that affected me the most. The book depicts a story of a little engine, although surrounded by many big engines, bravely pulls all the cars up to the mountain because he believed that he could. The way the words illustrated the scene and moral of the story brought tears to my eyes. I was astounded and moved by how much words can affect a person. Likewise, fashion was also a very big part during my adolescent and teenage years. Each and every day, I was able to articulate and communicate myself though the way I dress. Fashion allowed me to have my own unique personality, to be someone different - someone I couldn't have been without the circumstances that clothes allowed me to express my individuality. If I could combine these two areas together, as done in the Advertising and Marketing Communications at the Fashion Institute of Technology, I would be able to pursue a career that I love: writing and designing advertising and editorial campaigns for the fashion industry.
In five years, I envision myself working at a fashion magazine firm as a fashion editor or at an agency like Saatchi and Saatchi or BBDO. As of now, I take courses in Italian and Art History, write daily, and read fashion blogs and study magazines relentlessly. Because I am interested in this field, every month I save up money to buy fashion magazines. Skimming through the pages of American Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Elle, and Marie Claire, I realized what I wanted to do. Every time I get a new issue of these magazines, I read through each magazine thoughtfully, looking at all the editorials, and then cutting out images of clothes, cosmetics, stories, etc. that I find intriguing and interesting. I then would paste these images in my own way on construction paper and I would write my own article as if I were really designing a page for a magazine. Each and every time I do this, I can tell that this is what I want to do with my life. I enjoy and love the way campaigns effect us all in diverse ways; that's what I want to do - I want to be able to create and generate campaigns that speak to not just one specific type of person, but to many audiences. And what better way than to combine that with fashion? Fashion allows a person to specify his or herself through clothing, accessories, and cosmetics. I would love to combine these two areas into one, where I can design ad campaigns for these types of products- expressing to many audiences why they should buy the product.
One thing that stands out about FIT when compared with other schools is that the school allows one to start his or her major as soon as he or she steps through the doors. FIT is also very notable for employing trained professionals in the industry to teach the students. Providing more useful information and giving the students an insight in that certain career, students will have more knowledge of what it is really like in the industry. I know that the coursework at FIT is more challenging than those of other colleges, and I am ready and able to take on the tasks that will be put in my direction. What I can offer FIT is my unique way of thinking and the countless ideas in my head. I can and will be able to submit my own concepts and notions on how to better or make a product innovative and relatable to many audiences. Although I did not have the opportunities for internships at magazine or advertising firms, I plan to attain internships during my studies at FIT. With the impressive resumes of internships that I will gain from FIT, I will land a job in the career of my choice, no doubt.
All in all, FIT is the perfect school for me because it allows me to get the proper education I need to go into my field of choice. Similarly to the way flowers rely on water and sunlight to bloom, FIT is my sunlight and water, and will be the foundation in which I will be able to prosper.
The writing is extremely well done! Your essay is wonderful. However taking a more creative approach to answering the question would make you stand out even more. Many people trying to get into FIT probably have similar essays, explaining how they are the perfect candidates, you should take it one step ahead and show them how your a perfect candidate. Tell them a personal story and connect it to the question, it is something that will make you unique and rememberable.
Thank you so much for your feedback! I was a little afraid that you might bring this up. I wish I could add a personal story into the essay, but as you can tell, my essay consists of over a hundred words over the specified limit - so I'm trying to expunge some areas out, instead of adding more to it.
What do you think I should do? Perhaps, rewrite the essay again?
If I could combine these two areas
together , as s done in the "name of major" program at the Fashion Institute of Technol ogy, I would be able to pursue ...
You can make a list of all ideas expressed in the 2nd and 3rd paragraph and write a story that shares some of those ideas. The story can comprise paragraph 2. Then, whatever ideas were not covered in the story can be covered in the revised paragraph 3.
So, it is all about rearranging.
In the process of rearranging you can "say it in fewer words." I like the intro a lot!