This is what I have down for my college essay thus far...I think I need to expand the conclusion, but I am not sure how...also a grammar check would be nice :) Thanks!
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Being surrounded by "the brightest minds in the school"-as my teacher would say-in AP US History was intimidating. And so, for all of sophomore year, I resigned myself to leaning back in my chair and listening to the class's discussion as my feet skimmed the carpeted floor. Every so often, I'd wake up from my trance and say something that would have been more compelling had it not been for my poor delivery. As I spoke each sentence, my voice got softer and my hands would shake under the desk as though they were under someone else's control. There was a disconnect between my heart and mind. My mind knew what I wanted to say, but in my heart, I lacked confidence. The moment I raised my hand, this polarity was evident as the competition between my heart and mind would commence. I always dreaded this, because in the end of the battle, my competence would always be at the mercy of my confidence. Yet, when my junior year AP History teacher assigned the dreaded research paper, this disconnect disintegrated.
I enjoyed writing my research paper on US foreign policy in the Middle East, a phenomenon I would have never foreseen sophomore year. My interest in foreign policy skyrocketed with every paragraph I wrote, and every article I read. I immersed myself in the New York Times, Newsweek, Foreign Affairs and Time magazine. The world became an endless book I compulsively read to quench my insatiable thirst for knowledge. As I became increasingly infatuated with the world around me, I started to form my own opinions and my confidence grew. I found myself reading incessantly outside of my history classroom and drawing connections between current and past events. From my newfound confidence, a flame of passion lit up in me that allowed my heart and mind to function in synchrony. Currently I am taking Contemporary Issues in American History which is taught by my sophomore year history teacher. I love seeing the surprise on his face when I contribute meaningful ideas during group collaboration.
My fervor for global issues is not only of personal benefit but it has also allowed me to link myself and my peers to people living thousands of miles away through the work of a club my friend and I started called Pennies for Peace. Our most recent project was sending boxes of food and toiletries to the Pakistan flood victims with the help of Pakistan International Airlines. Charitable work and persistent reading have not only informed me of global events, but have opened my eyes to the endless opportunities to make a difference in the world. When I enter the workforce, I want to work in a global playing field, so that I can improve the lives of the impoverished and oppressed. A career that involves providing direct help to the worlds' neediest, such as a position at the World Bank, would allow me to channel my enthusiasm toward confronting problems plaguing the world. This clear idea of what direction I want to head in is the outcome of challenging myself sophomore year. The trials of US History AP have helped me recognize where my passions lie and have created a new purpose to my life.
Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.
Being surrounded by "the brightest minds in the school"-as my teacher would say-in AP US History was intimidating. And so, for all of sophomore year, I resigned myself to leaning back in my chair and listening to the class's discussion as my feet skimmed the carpeted floor. Every so often, I'd wake up from my trance and say something that would have been more compelling had it not been for my poor delivery. As I spoke each sentence, my voice got softer and my hands would shake under the desk as though they were under someone else's control. There was a disconnect between my heart and mind. My mind knew what I wanted to say, but in my heart, I lacked confidence. The moment I raised my hand, this polarity was evident as the competition between my heart and mind would commence. I always dreaded this, because in the end of the battle, my competence would always be at the mercy of my confidence. Yet, when my junior year AP History teacher assigned the dreaded research paper, this disconnect disintegrated.
I enjoyed writing my research paper on US foreign policy in the Middle East, a phenomenon I would have never foreseen sophomore year. My interest in foreign policy skyrocketed with every paragraph I wrote, and every article I read. I immersed myself in the New York Times, Newsweek, Foreign Affairs and Time magazine. The world became an endless book I compulsively read to quench my insatiable thirst for knowledge. As I became increasingly infatuated with the world around me, I started to form my own opinions and my confidence grew. I found myself reading incessantly outside of my history classroom and drawing connections between current and past events. From my newfound confidence, a flame of passion lit up in me that allowed my heart and mind to function in synchrony. Currently I am taking Contemporary Issues in American History which is taught by my sophomore year history teacher. I love seeing the surprise on his face when I contribute meaningful ideas during group collaboration.
My fervor for global issues is not only of personal benefit but it has also allowed me to link myself and my peers to people living thousands of miles away through the work of a club my friend and I started called Pennies for Peace. Our most recent project was sending boxes of food and toiletries to the Pakistan flood victims with the help of Pakistan International Airlines. Charitable work and persistent reading have not only informed me of global events, but have opened my eyes to the endless opportunities to make a difference in the world. When I enter the workforce, I want to work in a global playing field, so that I can improve the lives of the impoverished and oppressed. A career that involves providing direct help to the worlds' neediest, such as a position at the World Bank, would allow me to channel my enthusiasm toward confronting problems plaguing the world. This clear idea of what direction I want to head in is the outcome of challenging myself sophomore year. The trials of US History AP have helped me recognize where my passions lie and have created a new purpose to my life.
