"the field of international relations" - SOP for a Study Abroad program

The only instructions are to write a 1-2 page statement of purpose.
Here is the basic info on the program itself:
CIMAS offers students this program to explore and explain the dynamics of today's dilemmas associated with development. Theoretical background is augmented with experiential work involving practical community-based efforts to provide alternatives that address issues and values of social justice, human rights, individual and community empowerment, sustainability and environmental stewardship.

The Development and Interculturality Program is a 10 week long program, which include 120 contact hours of Development and Culture and 40 contact hours of Spanish Language. Most of the theoretical activities of the program will be conducted in English, with a combination of Spanish/English activities during the field work

Here is what I have at this point:

I am passionate about both learning from other cultures and also working collaboratively toward solutions to problems in society. I admire integrated, multifaceted approaches to those problems. Because of this, I believe the CIMAS Local Development and Intensive Spanish Language experience would be a perfect opportunity for me. Working and learning in such an environment could be instrumental in achieving my dream of of working in the field of international relations. The kind of work CIMAS is engaged in is so pertinent to the global landscape. As we will begin to see more and more, not the US and EU, but countries in other regions around the world, particularly South America and Africa, will shape the future for all of us. As the need to address systemic societal and environmental issues becomes clearer, I believe the active work going on at the grassroots level will see increased attention and study.

I have worked in many different ways to improve my local community, so I can relate to others trying to do the same. A few of those activities have included:

- Creating Tinkering in Tacoma, a 5-week workshop program highlighting youth led, complimentary educational experiences. The program featured the use of real, community donated, tools (saws, power drills, etc) in the hands of 8-13 year-olds. The program took place April-May 2010.

- Participating in Planned Parenthood Citizen Lobby Day 2008, 2009, 2010.
- Participating in Equal Rights Washington Citizen Lobby Day 2009.
- Serving for one year on the Tacoma Earth Religions Revival Association board of directors, 2007.
- Serving as Historian and first four-year member for Wilson High School Gay/Straight Alliance, 1999-2003.

I strive to make my overall educational experience be reflective of my principles and priorities. While I was in high school, I was in the Running Start program, taking college classes at Tacoma Community College. While my grades in that part of my life were not perfect, I did cultivate a powerful appreciation for environmentalism and race/gender relations. By the end of my time there I not only earned my Associate's Degree, but also was one of the first recipients of the American Ethnic and Gender Studies certificate.

Now at Evergreen (a few years later), I have maintained perfect attendance and earned full credit in every class. I have continued my studies with coursework that has included: Health Policy, Environmental Policy, Environmental Law, and Foreign Policy. I have been a consistently good leader and group member as well. I have received consistent encouragement to go on to graduate school after next year, and I am excited at the prospect.

This program's focus on social justice, sustainable development, and environmental stewardship would give me a real opportunity to work to gain the skills necessary to make positive, substantive changes in the world. Being involved in research projects and pursuing intensive Spanish language practice would provide a practical foundation from which to move closer to my goals. I never want to behave as though I have all the answers, but I relish the chance to explore my potential.

In the future I hope to find my vocation in the field of international relations, grounded in a sincere understanding of the needs of real people. It is currently my endeavor to be involved with an active NGO, be a member of the US Foreign Service, or a delegate at the United Nations, but I'm open-minded and I know that I'll go where I'm needed. I believe that regardless of where the future leads, being in the CIMAS program would be a priceless first step.

Any feedback provided would be appreciated. ;-)

I strive to make my overall educational experience be reflective of my principles and priorities. ---right after this sentence, it would be good to give a sentence that tells the main idea of your priorities so the reader has a sense of what you stand for.

By the end of my time there I not only earned my Associate's Degree, but also was one of the first recipients of the American Ethnic and Gender Studies certificate. (and right after this sentence it would be nice if you can, again, say something about your principles and priorities and how this experience reflects them.

This program's focus on social justice, sustainable development, and environmental stewardship would give me a real opportunity to work to gain the skills necessary to make positive, substantive changes in the world. ---Like the rest of what you wrote, this is very nicely written, but... this is devoid of meaning. They know what the program covers, and saying it will help you make substantive changes is ambiguous... so instead, you need to write a sentence that shows how there three areas of focus coincide with YOUR UNIQUE GUIDING PRINCIPLE.

It will be best if you can identify one guiding principle that encompasses all others and make that principle the theme for the whole essay. What's the word?

:-)

Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to incorporate my values a bit more specifically. :)