When commonapp asks us to write the short answer for the one of the elaborated activities, does that means all and any activity? I mean, can I write something like my favorite sport and my love for it?
Would anyone helped me to have a look at my prompts?
Now, I know I sound like every other girl, but since I was 12, figure skating has been one of my favorite activities. I skated and immediately loved it. Beyond the obvious fun, I learned about confidence, which is the first lesson my coach taught me. "Confidence is the key that separates excellent skaters and very good skaters. It's also the line that defines who you are. You remember that." I marked it down in my mind.
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It means to just elaborate on ONE activity, not more than one. It wants you to explain what its about and how/why its important to you.
I skated and immediately loved it. <That sentence seems redundant and unnecessary. You can just add that to your first sentence.
Try this:
I know I sound like every other girl, but ever since I was 12 years old I have loved figure skating.
I modified your first sentence because the excessive commas are too distracting.
Try not to insert too many clauses in between a sentence because it distracts people from the main idea of the original sentence.
Hi guys, I have edited my essay, can you give me some advice about it?
Now, I know I sound like every other girl, but since I was 12 years old, I have loved figure skating-- a tough and competitive sport. Beyond the obvious fun, I learned about confidence, which was the first lesson my coach taught me. "Confidence is the key that separates excellent skaters and very good skaters. It's also the line that defines who you are. You remember that." I marked it down in my mind.
There are some things in life that are similar to figure skating in that they involve moves that require pure confident execution, without any logic or reasoning to distract you performer. Before I landed a 540° axel, I had to believe I could do it 100% without hesitation (hesitation means pain in figure skating). Every time I have tried something in life, I always kept this in mind. I will be confident. I can do it even if there is no proof that I can.
(I switched it from "competitive and tough" to "tough and competitive," because I think the rhythm is better this way. "Tough and competitive," sounds like Rat tat ratatatat" on a snare drum or something...
