Hey guys thanks in advance for helping!
You can be really harsh and critical (:
X- A cross marked out in thick black ink on the crumpled map of the reservoir, about 12 kilometres from where we stood. Half a dozen of us clad in green and white singlets had our eyes fixated on the map as he described our route today - a meandering path under the canopy of lush trees, back and forth we were supposed to go. This was how I spent more than half of every week's evenings after school; I ran seemingly endless miles on the track and among the trees, sometimes splashing in tadpole infested mud and occasionally with heavy raindrops pounding against my face and head.
I did not fall in love with running the first time I tried completing 5km. Tired, hurting, and longing for the trees on both sides to pass quickly yet dreading each approaching step that I take- I was intimidated by it. Yet, I threw on my running shoes in a fit of irritation when my notes looked completely alien and inscrutable, and returned with a fresh mind after disposing of my frustration on the asphalt. When my sister and mum left for Canada, running was my faithful friend who stood by me. It makes me feel truly alive; I feel my heart pounding against my chest while my mind settles into a trance with a rhythmic breathing. It's a magical state that heals and flushes out the unhealthy excess of negative emotions. Somehow, the more I ran the more I began to enjoy the sense of total, complete accomplishment after surrendering every ounce of energy in my body, a reminder of the simple pleasures of challenging myself
After I joined competitive cross country, running occupies most of my afternoons and evenings without fail; during holidays when my friends are frolicking in snow halfway across the world, I will be scrutinizing maps to place the X if I go on vacation, or following the X on my coach's map if I remain. X is also a lifestyle- a commitment to reaching the destination in the shortest time, with every possible means. While my friends indulge in creamy cakes and lard-filled fried chicken, I find within me the strength to resist such delicious offerings and stick to healthier choices. And X does not merely represent the physical destination, but sets the stage for an internal struggle for dominance between mind and body, so intense and real which makes it truly exhilarating.
I also understood that running is not merely about an unchanging X, a fixed destination. Frequently, X is a variable and can be found anywhere as long as one looks hard enough. Sometimes, I chuck my map to one side, and run without any clue of where I'm going if I'm on vacation, exploring places as I run by. These times it's not about getting to my destination as fast as possible, but to wander around and take some risks, brave the lack of certainty, and hopefully still get somewhere eventually. Getting lost is not a bad thing either. It means I am going where I will have never gone on my own, making my way back much later, but still able to return with the help of friendly people.
I have since quit cross country, realizing that running to me is more than my desire to compete to be the best. I no longer have any more Xs on maps to follow, but running helps me break out of the habitual repetitions of daily life by the intense dose of physical and mental workout, providing the clarity to experience the world, to cope with difficult situations and to interact with people sincerely. More importantly, I run to find out who I am, what I stand for and my direction in life- the elusive and changing X
You can be really harsh and critical (:
X- A cross marked out in thick black ink on the crumpled map of the reservoir, about 12 kilometres from where we stood. Half a dozen of us clad in green and white singlets had our eyes fixated on the map as he described our route today - a meandering path under the canopy of lush trees, back and forth we were supposed to go. This was how I spent more than half of every week's evenings after school; I ran seemingly endless miles on the track and among the trees, sometimes splashing in tadpole infested mud and occasionally with heavy raindrops pounding against my face and head.
I did not fall in love with running the first time I tried completing 5km. Tired, hurting, and longing for the trees on both sides to pass quickly yet dreading each approaching step that I take- I was intimidated by it. Yet, I threw on my running shoes in a fit of irritation when my notes looked completely alien and inscrutable, and returned with a fresh mind after disposing of my frustration on the asphalt. When my sister and mum left for Canada, running was my faithful friend who stood by me. It makes me feel truly alive; I feel my heart pounding against my chest while my mind settles into a trance with a rhythmic breathing. It's a magical state that heals and flushes out the unhealthy excess of negative emotions. Somehow, the more I ran the more I began to enjoy the sense of total, complete accomplishment after surrendering every ounce of energy in my body, a reminder of the simple pleasures of challenging myself
After I joined competitive cross country, running occupies most of my afternoons and evenings without fail; during holidays when my friends are frolicking in snow halfway across the world, I will be scrutinizing maps to place the X if I go on vacation, or following the X on my coach's map if I remain. X is also a lifestyle- a commitment to reaching the destination in the shortest time, with every possible means. While my friends indulge in creamy cakes and lard-filled fried chicken, I find within me the strength to resist such delicious offerings and stick to healthier choices. And X does not merely represent the physical destination, but sets the stage for an internal struggle for dominance between mind and body, so intense and real which makes it truly exhilarating.
I also understood that running is not merely about an unchanging X, a fixed destination. Frequently, X is a variable and can be found anywhere as long as one looks hard enough. Sometimes, I chuck my map to one side, and run without any clue of where I'm going if I'm on vacation, exploring places as I run by. These times it's not about getting to my destination as fast as possible, but to wander around and take some risks, brave the lack of certainty, and hopefully still get somewhere eventually. Getting lost is not a bad thing either. It means I am going where I will have never gone on my own, making my way back much later, but still able to return with the help of friendly people.
I have since quit cross country, realizing that running to me is more than my desire to compete to be the best. I no longer have any more Xs on maps to follow, but running helps me break out of the habitual repetitions of daily life by the intense dose of physical and mental workout, providing the clarity to experience the world, to cope with difficult situations and to interact with people sincerely. More importantly, I run to find out who I am, what I stand for and my direction in life- the elusive and changing X