"my first half iron-man triathlon" - common application short essay

If any one has any suggestions or recommendations anything for this short essay for the common app, please let me know.

"Why do you do this? Live a little, you are nuts". This is what I hear over and over. To get to where I am now has not been easy. It has been waking up at 4 A.M and heading to races, sacrificing a Friday night in order to rest or spending my Sunday morning in a lake. It is not quite the typical obsession to have for a senior in high school, yet it is what I am and what I love. The world of triathlons has become such a big part of me this year. I have completed three triathlons, winning my age group in my first one and one half marathon in preparation for my first half iron-man triathlon. To me, this is my way to build strength both physically and mentally. The dedication and training are what I am and what I love.

This is a good piece with a lot of feel and identity. (KEEP ON RUNNING!) It is precise and not overly descriptive. I think you're set with the short essay prompt! No immediate grammatical errors or punctuation mistakes. Good work! ^^

It has involved waking up at 4 A.M and heading to races, sacrificing Friday nights in order to rest, or spending my Sunday mornings in a lake.

To me, This is my way to build strength both physically and mentally.

This tells us about its significance, but can you add a detail that makes us feel like it is really important that you get to enter your chosen degree program? Mention your current plan, because surely your current plan also reflects the drive toward self-mastery that compels you to train for the triathlon.

:-)