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"First Impressions are Everything"; NYU Short Answers- grammar errors?



arghuman82 5 / 13  
Jan 1, 2009   #1
Describe a trait or characteristic that has been passed along to you by your family. Tell us why you like or dislike this aspect of yourself.

"First Impressions are Everything"- A popular saying, and one mother never hesitated to remind me. From a young age, I was given a set of rules to follow; ways to behave, look, act, and speak. Now into late adolescence, I have remained perpetually inclined to create a false image of myself to gain societal approval. I truly despise what my mom has forced me to become, and hope to one day, break away, and let my true self shine. I am a leader, not a follower, its time the world knows it. 492/500

New York City is an essential element of academic and cultural life at NYU. If you could engage in an activity or start a club or service organization at NYU, what would it be and how would you envision it impacting the larger community?

I was a young child, out shopping with my father. As we walked down the street, a beggar snatching a 10 dollar bill out of my hand. As I began to cry, my father gave me a 20, and said how, even after we returned home from shopping, that man would be out on the curb, without a home, in the blistering cold. Ever since, I have volunteered to help those in need and if admitted into NYU, I hope to help tackle NYC homelessness by volunteering myself at NYU food drives and charities. 484/500

You have been selected to sing in a talent show. What song would you choose? Why?

I have never been a good singer, but since I've have been picked for a talent show, I guess I'm not so bad after all! I have always been reluctant to be outgoing when it comes to those of the opposite sex. Whenever it comes to talking to girls, and trying to start a conversation, it's not only nerve wracking but physically impossible for me to do. I will sing "Whatever you Like" by TI because it will allow the opposite sex to know that I am interested in more than just books, clubs, and sports! 500/500

STILL WORKING ON 4TH ONE- please correct any grammar or if u think u can say an idea more eloquently, it would be much appreciated!

reflections91 - / 4  
Jan 1, 2009   #2
"First Impressions are Everything" => I don't think the uppercase is necessary.

"and one mother never hesitated to remind me" => "and one that mother has never hesitated to remind me of"

"I was given a set of rules to follow; ways to behave, look, act, and speak." => "I was given a set of rules to follow: ways to behave, look, act, and speak."

"a beggar snatching a 10 dollar bill out of my hand" =>"a beggar snatched a 10 dollar bill out of my hand"
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 3, 2009   #4
It's not a title, just a sentence, so don't capitalize every word:

"First impressions are everything."

Ooops, I see that reflections91 already caught that!!

Now into late adolescence, I have remained perpetually inclined to create a false image of myself to gain societal approval. Wow, brilliant sentence!!

However, this next part is no good: I truly despise what my mom has forced me to become, That is not making a good first impression. Remember, because you are young, the admissions person will assume that you are wrong and your mom is right!!

How about saying that you despise the fals image that you have been compelled to project?

I have never been a good singer, but after being chosen for a talent show, I realized that I'm not so bad after all! Likewise , I have always been reluctant to be outgoing when it comes to those of the opposite sex. Whenever it comes to talking to girls, and trying to start a conversation, it's not only nerve-wracking but also physically impossible! for me to do. I will sing "Whatever you Like" by TI because it will tell the girls that I am interested in more than just books, clubs, and sports!

:) Cool, you are funny and smart...
jennc09 4 / 63  
Jan 3, 2009   #5
Your short answer about the song was cute! It is very personal and it makes the reader feel like they get to know you better. (Love that song!)


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