I would really appreciate feedback especially on vocabulary and grammar.
UC topic 2:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Essay:
Since I didn't want to spend my summer of 2010 in ennui like the last, I decided to find work. I somehow wanted to combine my two interests: travel and construction. Therefore I searched the net for a job that would fulfill my personal requirement and stumbled across a German travel organization for adolescents called "RUF Jugendreisen". I was instantly convinced, when I found out that I could work as a facility manager at camp sites all around Europe. Therefore I applied.
A few weeks later I went to the training session that would teach me all the necessary skills for the upcoming job and simultaneously serve as a form of evaluation. However, I soon found out that I wouldn't just be a maintainer and construction worker, but that I would also be a part of the entertainment group. This perplexed me. I was always rather shy and held back, and now I was asked to entertain? Nonetheless, I am not the person who gives up and I wasn't back then either, therefore I accepted the challenge. The following days I was taught how to talk in front of a group, how to entertain, how to solve disputes etc.
However, when I was asked to apply these skills myself, I failed miserably. I can still recount one experience where I was supposed to blabber for 5 minutes about how I cherished chocolate. I stuttered the whole way through and the monologue wasn't consistent at all. Even though I perceived myself as a failure, my counselors somehow seemed to believe in me, and I passed the "training session".
My initial job took me to Croatia. The first thing that I was asked to do when I arrived at the camp after a 20 hour bus ride, together with our young guests, was to perform in front of a tired, agitated and bored group of youngsters. Once more I was very nervous and intimated, which was resembled in my speech. I earned disagreement and furtive giggles from the audience.
Nonetheless, the anxiety of speaking in front of a crowd slowly subsided. I got better and better with each stage performance. When I worked near Rome the following year, I was already able to get a crowd to dance along with me, a huge personal success.
Working for RUF was one of the most inspiring experiences in my life. As harsh and strenuous as pubescent kids can sometimes be, I think there is no other group of people that would give you a more frank response of whether they like or detest something about you. I didn't just get to know the most interesting, most open minded people, but I also got to know how important some character traits are. I learned that sometimes it helps to smile, even though I don't feel like smiling. I also got to know how important first impressions really are. I especially learned however how rewarding it can be to push myself to overcome obstacles and personal fears.
UC topic 2:Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Essay:
MATURING FROM THE IMMATURE
Since I didn't want to spend my summer of 2010 in ennui like the last, I decided to find work. I somehow wanted to combine my two interests: travel and construction. Therefore I searched the net for a job that would fulfill my personal requirement and stumbled across a German travel organization for adolescents called "RUF Jugendreisen". I was instantly convinced, when I found out that I could work as a facility manager at camp sites all around Europe. Therefore I applied.
A few weeks later I went to the training session that would teach me all the necessary skills for the upcoming job and simultaneously serve as a form of evaluation. However, I soon found out that I wouldn't just be a maintainer and construction worker, but that I would also be a part of the entertainment group. This perplexed me. I was always rather shy and held back, and now I was asked to entertain? Nonetheless, I am not the person who gives up and I wasn't back then either, therefore I accepted the challenge. The following days I was taught how to talk in front of a group, how to entertain, how to solve disputes etc.
However, when I was asked to apply these skills myself, I failed miserably. I can still recount one experience where I was supposed to blabber for 5 minutes about how I cherished chocolate. I stuttered the whole way through and the monologue wasn't consistent at all. Even though I perceived myself as a failure, my counselors somehow seemed to believe in me, and I passed the "training session".
My initial job took me to Croatia. The first thing that I was asked to do when I arrived at the camp after a 20 hour bus ride, together with our young guests, was to perform in front of a tired, agitated and bored group of youngsters. Once more I was very nervous and intimated, which was resembled in my speech. I earned disagreement and furtive giggles from the audience.
Nonetheless, the anxiety of speaking in front of a crowd slowly subsided. I got better and better with each stage performance. When I worked near Rome the following year, I was already able to get a crowd to dance along with me, a huge personal success.
Working for RUF was one of the most inspiring experiences in my life. As harsh and strenuous as pubescent kids can sometimes be, I think there is no other group of people that would give you a more frank response of whether they like or detest something about you. I didn't just get to know the most interesting, most open minded people, but I also got to know how important some character traits are. I learned that sometimes it helps to smile, even though I don't feel like smiling. I also got to know how important first impressions really are. I especially learned however how rewarding it can be to push myself to overcome obstacles and personal fears.
