How I First Learned About Bowdoin

Hi guys! I just want to check this brief (under 150 word) statement for grammar and sentence structure. Thanks! It's simply a response to how I first learned about Bowdoin.

A Bowdoin student and alumna of my school, ******* Cutler, visited Country Day during Winter Break last year. Being new to the school, I hadn't been acquainted with *******, but most of my friends knew her well. They greeted her warmly with hugs and questions about her college life. ******* could only rant and rave about how much she was enjoying Bowdoin-the people, the classes, the athletics. Although I was mainly an observer of my friends' conversation with *******, I listened carefully to the things she had to say about Bowdoin College, and researched Bowdoin on the internet that night. I was delightfully surprised by what I found out about Bowdoin during my search. Earlier this year, I attended the Bowdoin Invitational. ******* kindly offered to meet me in Smith Union to chat about her experiences at Bowdoin. We ended up having a three-hour long conversation!

I think this is great and to the point, but that you should not write "Bowdoin" so many times.

I listened carefully to the things she had to say about Bowdoin College, and researched Bowdoinit on the internet that night.

...in Smith Union to chat about her experiences at Bowdoin there.

How do you feel about these changes?

Thanks for the changes! I don't want to make you feel bad for taking the time to edit that (and you were very helpful), but I just tried to input my version in and realized that the box has a 150 character limit, not 150 words. Wonderful. My new version looks like this:

"A Bowdoin student and alumna of my school, Tiernan Cutler, visited Country Day last year. I was delighted by what she had to say about Bowdoin."

Simple and to the point still?

Ha ha, sorry that happened to you! Use key words when you are so limited in the number of characters. Don't just say "what she had to say." Instead, list things she mentioned:

an atmosphere of enthusiasm, serious research studies, the ________ Club, and especially Dr. _________ (name of professor you admire).