To aid the Admissions Committee in learning more about you, please share your current influences and interest for pursuing a career in Medicine/Dentistry.
The first time I realized I want to pursue a career in dentistry was when I had my first orthodontic appointment back when I was in sixth grade. Although I was terrified at that moment, I was fascinated by the mechanics and tools behind orthodontics. The numerous tools that laid on the table certainly fascinated me. How are they going to use such tools on teeth? How are they going to make my smile more beautiful?
I believe that the reason that these tools fascinated me was because I always loved working with my hands. Every gift I ever gave was a DIY project. Whether it was building a model of airplanes or ships, or making a bracelet, or using puzzles to make a beautiful landscape, things that involved building and taking things apart made any boring day less miserable. The fact that dentistry is a profession that involves the use of hands made it all the more appealing to me.
My grandmother's experience with gastritis made me realize the influence of health care professionals. My grandmother suffered tremendously from pain resulting from her gallstones and gastritis simultaneously. She was constantly worried over her condition, and she had a lot of questions that only her doctor could answer. The abundance of people that booked for her doctor was so tremendous that she wasn't able to see the doctor often. However, when she was able to see her doctor, it was as if the pent up frustration that built within her for the last couple weeks was finally released. She is able to explain her symptoms and ask any lingering questions that she has. The patience and compassion that the doctor had comforted my grandmother enormously. When I saw the impact of health care professionals and how they are able to comfort and nurture others, I realized that medicine is something that I want to pursue, and pursuing dentistry is something that can satisfy me both professionally and personally. As a health care provider, I want to interact and maintain a connection with all of my patients, a privilege that not all medical professionals have.
My desire to pursue a career in dentistry also results from the fact that I suffer enormously from dental issues myself. I suffered from a crossbite as well as an abscess. From my experiences, I understand the impact that dentists can have and how they contribute to their patient's self-esteem. The issues with my own teeth were frightening to me, and I had many self-esteem issues regarding my smile because of it, but the things that I learned from the internet as I was researching these issues drawn me to the science behind dentistry. My aptitude in biological sciences and the science behind oral health is what made me pursue dentistry. Dentistry incorporates a lot of different medical fields. They have opportunities in their careers where they perform somewhat the same jobs as do surgeons, anesthesiologists and radiologists as well.
Despite my curious and energetic personality, I, like many others, want a lifestyle that is not dominated by my career. Although I may love my career, I would also like reasonable hours that are balanced between my family and my job. Compared to other doctors, who start out spending hours in their jobs, dentists do not need to serve that kind of commitment, giving me time for my family and others who supported me throughout my troubles.
I believe that dentistry is perfect for me. My love, passion, and motivation for everything that revolves around dentistry is what makes me want to pursue it as my career.
I'm grateful for any feedback. I think this sounds boring.If you have anything to comment on about that, thanks in advance :)
The story about your grandmother does not relate to dentistry and as such will not help move your essay forward in a positive manner. I suggest that you skip that paragraph and go directly to the dental issues that you suffer from instead. After all, the most inspired medical or dental professional is the person who has suffered from the symptoms of the illness that the profession tries to treat. You are a clear example of that belief. Try to revise the essay to depict your interest in dentistry as having stemmed solely from your personal experience in the dentist's office. That would be one of the best methods of effectively approaching this essay.
The reason your essay seems too long and boring right now is because your grandmother's story is taking attention away from the fluidity of the story you are narrating. Once you remove the reference to her story, you will find that the essay will become shorter and more interesting to read. Is it too boring? I do not think so because you are relating it from a personal point of view based upon your personal experience. I am also of the opinion that your closing paragraph deviates from the prompt. If you delete the following portion;
your essay will become tighter, more interesting, and prompt adherent as well. These are just some suggestions that I believe will help you create a smoother feel to the reading of your essay.
Thank you for your thoughtful suggestions! I revised one of the paragraphs to hopefully describe the reason dentistry appeals to me from one of my own personal experiences.
My desire to pursue a career in dentistry also results from the fact that I suffer enormously from dental issues myself. I suffered from a crossbite as well as an abscess. From my experiences, I understand the impact that dentists can have and how they contribute to their patient's self-esteem. I encountered many different types of dentists in my road to recovery in whatever issues I had, but one dentist that stood out to me was my oral surgeon-Dr. Lee. I was already slightly traumatized with a painful extraction when I met Dr. Lee, but he noticed my frustration and nervousness immediately and reassured me often that it would be a painless procedure. He was friendly, professional, and comforting. When I realized what a big difference a nurturing dentist can make to my mentality, I realized Dr. Lee is the type of dentist I aspire to be. I want to be able to comfort and compassionate others as my dentist did to me.