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Football team, people, tradition, excellence: "Why The Ohio State University?"



kcoxey 1 / -  
Sep 12, 2010   #1
Ever since I can remember, I have been infatuated with Ohio State's football team. My mom attended one of their games and brought me back a bracelet. It was inscribed with: PEOPLE, TRADITION, EXCELLENCE. Now as I think back on the bracelet, I realize that those words inscribed on it are the reason I want to go to The Ohio State University

.
PEOPLE: I have visited the university multiple times and every time I am able to meet new, interesting people. Everyone, from tour guides to staff, has been wonderful to me. I feel like I belong there when I am on campus. Nobody out casts me because I am just another student wishing for a future at OSU.

TRADITION: Ohio State is a place where I can become a part of a tradition. Academically, many people have obtained wonderful opportunities for the future from Ohio State. I want to be a part of that. Also, athletically, there are many opportunities to be part of a tradition. Not only in varsity sports, but also by participating in clubs or intramural teams. The Ohio State University and its students have set a tradition that I would love to become a part of.

EXCELLENCE: I come from a very small town and I want to feel the atmosphere of a large school and relish in the benefits of it. From what I have heard, the excellent programs at OSU are exactly the type I would like to be involved in. I want to shape my future with excellent professors, students, and technology and I know The Ohio State University is the place I can do that.

I want to meet the people, be a part of the tradition, and achieve excellence at The Ohio State University.

mea505 - / 265  
Sep 12, 2010   #2
Last para:

From what I have heard, the excellent programs at OSU are exactly the type I would like to be involved in

From what I have heard, the excellent programs at Ohio State University are exactly the type in which I would like to be involved.

Good essay,

Mark
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Sep 14, 2010   #3
This approach based on the three words is a little contrived. I think you can only get away with doing this for one paragraph. Make it a paragraph about the way these words lingered in your mind =, but only spend one paragraph on it.

As for the rest of the essay, give a concrete answer to their question. From what I have heard, the excellent programs at OSU are exactly the type I would like to be involved in. take out that meaningless stuff, and tell us about the particular aspects of your chosen field that interest you most.

You can discuss your intention for the future and show that you have already read a lot of articles and books about your chosen field of study.

Also, you can show that you know a lot about the professors at the school, the school's programs, etc.
donrocks 5 / 120  
Sep 14, 2010   #4
I think Kevin's got that right. You are writing an essay and its good to be crazy and wacky. Your idea of three word is extremely risky. You may get away with it and be noticed as different( a little less likely)OR you will not be liked for lack of effort on essay( a little more likely).

See, i like your idea. Make that two lines of the para. Talk about campus.... OR...their researches which you would like to be a part of and something like that where this could be JUST A LINE.

Advantage of doing this is YOU SHOW A MULTICOLORED ESSAY THAN A MONO ONE.
Hope this helps, :)


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