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"I will never forget my mother" - UCF undergrad essay.



Amichaelg91 2 / 3  
Sep 20, 2009   #1
It was over, the pain, the suffering, the doctors. My mom had past away after battling cancer for three overwhelming years. I knew that day would come, but no one is ever ready to lose someone they love dearly. I was only beginning seventh grade when she died, not ready to let go, but through the years I've used the strength she had, as a motivator for me to succeed.

Being known, as the kid whose mom is dying was something I loathed, everyday I wish I could have a regular life, but never was that going to happen. Coming home and seeing different nurses walking around my house was just a regular day in the Gilardi house. Every time I think of her, I have this vivid image of this one Saturday when we went to my school for the mini Olympics. The last thing I wanted was for all my friends to see her in a wheel chair, but I had to overcome that feeling and keep my head up. Of course, I wouldn't be involved in the conversations about whose mom won in the relay race, but to me that's not what mattered. Even though this experience was painful, I have tried to make it a positive situation. I find my self a much stronger person, than I would be before. Her strength to be an amazing mom showed me that nothing could stop you even if you're at a point of death. I strive to set an example for my peers when they're going through hard obstacles. Joining clubs such as the "League against cancer," has made me see that I'm not the only one with these types of problems.

I'd like to think of this experience as a lesson. I will never forget my mother, and will always think of ways to set a better example and to never take the ones you love for granted.

pianogirl246 3 / 20  
Sep 20, 2009   #2
other than a few punctuation errors throughout your essay, it is very well written and extremely interesting!

two thumbs up from me =)
danceislife_e 2 / 4  
Sep 20, 2009   #3
wow. your essay is strong and interesting i couldnt stop reading. Make sure you review it for errors such as the sentences being known, as the kid.. you do not need excessive commas.

Make sure you have your language arts teacher review this. But this is a great essay
goodluck
dancer2010 1 / 5  
Sep 20, 2009   #4
Try to vary your sentence structure and length. Other than that, great essay.


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