Short, funny Yale responses

Could you give me some advice on these responses in Yale's supplement?

-What would you do with a free afternoon?
A hectic time of applications has unfortunately forced me to limit the time I spend with my friends. I wish I could dedicate them some time, maybe cycling in park.

- Recall a compliment you received that you especially value. What was it? From whom did it come?
"I have heard that eyes are the mirror of the soul. You must have beautiful eyes." - my best friend (I don't know how appropriate that is)

- What two qualities do you admire most in other people?
Humanity and courage. (am i supposed to expand on these?)
- What do you wish you were better at being or doing?
I wish I could get enough of few hours of sleep. There are so many things to do in a day, so sleep is my most prosecuted activity.

- If you were choosing students to form a Yale class, what question would you ask here that we have not?
Which is your favorite line of a song?

-What in particular about Yale has influenced your decision to apply? Please limit your response to the space provided. (500 CHAR.)
I have two versions:
1 -To me, Yale epitomizes the golden balance. The combination between specialized knowledge and broad liberal arts background is the most apt for my intended career: Neuroscience, which blends both biology and psychology. Yale will give me the opportunity to gain an excellent education, without having to give up my passions, as theater and volleyball. I want to embrace life fully: that's why I see Yale as the perfect architect of my future.

2 - Why Yale? Because I love blue. Because I adore the sight of the Harkness Tower under a cover of whiteness. Because yale.edu is my homepage. Because I love the balance of breadth and depth the distributional requirements system offers. Because I see in Yale a globalized environment whose diversity I can yet foster. Because I enjoy exploring and discovering through the limitless opportunities of independent study. Because I want excellence. Because I am not afraid to fly higher.

I feel the 1st is more apt, any suggestions to make it better?

Thank you a lot guys! I'll return the favor! :)

I think the response to the second question is quite appropriate. But the "must have" implies in a way that your best friend does not know what your eyes look like. Maybe you can change it to "I have heard that eyes are the mirror of the soul, no wonder you have beautiful eyes" ? Or does that make it sound like a pick-up line? =P

I think you should write something different for your first response. It shows you sacrificed your social life because you didn't manage your time well enough in your application process.


Yeah, I'd probably write a few words about why.


I don't think prosecuted is the word you're going for. Also, like the first one, this basically says you wish you had better time management skills so you could sleep more? You can't really be better at sleeping.



And maybe you could replace this sentence with something more Yale-specific?

Good luck! (:

Umm, that part just seems like awkward wording. Perhaps try "I wish I could function off of few hours of sleep" or something like that.


The "as" seems unneccesary b/c you already have the comma before it. However, you can double check.

In all honesty, I love #2 for the "why yale" question more b/c of the repetition of because and the short sentences. I love the last two sentences there as well. However,


this part I'm not really fond of. I see that you are trying to use mature vocabulary and that is great. Esp. b/c you go from short-to long- to short sentences again in that response. However, I find myself a bit unsure of what you are trying to convey in this phrase(s).

Good luck! and please look @ mine if you get the chance!

Out of curiosity, is poisonivy based off the JB song?