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Future Profession/ Compassion/ Responsibility/ PERSONAL RESPONSE/ Why NURSING?



bbar23 1 / -  
Jan 3, 2013   #1
Prompt: The essay question or personal response, needs to address the following topics

How can nursing address and improve global healthcare needs?


Why Nursing Career?



As I walked into the waiting room of the radiation treatment center in Nyack Hospital for the first time, I wasn't sure how to act; angry, worried, supportive, courageous? I was nervous, but I knew I had to be strong for her. I can still recall every detail of that day for many reasons, one of them being because it was when I, at age 9, first began to understand what it meant to be a nurse. As I was sitting there quietly next to my little sister, I thought about the many questions I had that still needed answers, but that I didn't want to ask; the two main questions being whether or not the radiation would really hurt my mom and whether or not she would really be coming back. As I was watching my mom being lead from the waiting room full of quiet adults into one of the treatment rooms, a young nurse sitting behind the desk called out to me. She exclaimed, "What are you guys doing sitting, OUT THERE?" At first, I thought we were in trouble but she marched out from behind her desk, stuck her hands out for us to grab them and explained, "Such important young ladies like yourselves don't sit in the waiting area, they come sit behind the desk with me!" We spent the rest of that day, and every "treatment day" after that, sitting behind the desk with Nurse Janet, greeting patients and learning a little about what went on in the radiation room, where mom was, and about the rest of the hospital. Janet, who helped more than she will ever understand by just that simple gesture, is someone who I could never forget because she brought laughter, comfort, and warmth into both mine and my sister's lives at that confusing moment and all the moments in the center thereafter. My sister and I continued to meet caring nurse after caring nurse that my mom had befriended through each stage of treatment in her battle against breast cancer. Nurses coming over with their kids for dinner or birthday parties and play dates became a regular thing for my family; I thought all nurses were like the ones I knew and that it was their job to become a part of our lives! It wasn't until I was older and started looking for a career that I could see myself fitting into, that I realized how special the nurses I had encountered really were. I realized the way they had become long-term friends with my family wasn't part of the job description or was even required of a nurse, but it was instead something special that accompanied the profession when the right person found it. I believe the profession has found me.

The answer to who I am as a person and who I wanted to become was not always right in front of me. While growing up I was set, for a very long time, on becoming a photographer, just like my mom was. As a photographer, I thought I could travel all over the world and freeze both tremendous and simple moments in time, then share them with the individual's I was photographing. While in high school, once I had saved up to buy myself a high-performance camera, I started photographing any event I could. I became the go to school photographer who could be counted upon for capturing every moment and then sharing the photos in school newspapers, bulletin boards, and yearbooks. For me, one of the most memorable moments I had the privilege of capturing was on our schools first midnight run, something I helped the community service club organize, where we would start bringing prepared food, clothes, toiletries, and smiles to individual homeless people of NYC on a monthly basis. As well as having the opportunity to reach out to people who had nothing, it was here that I captured some of my favorite photos of the individuals who radiated gratefulness and joy over us simply sharing our time, attention, and donations with them. With each trip back to visit the homeless and with each service event I participated in over the years, I began to think a lot about how rewarding giving back and interacting with those in need was. As a photographer, I felt I could bring happiness and beauty into suffering individual's lives by offering to take photos of moments shared with their families and friends; whether they were moments of sadness, triumph, laughter, or even last moments. But as I grew older and began interacting more with others who needed help financially or who were very ill, I realized that while I believed, and still believe, that photography is a great way to reach the hearts of others by offering them physical memories of special moments, I needed to be more than just a face behind a camera. I felt that photography, while powerful, alone it just wasn't enough. I wanted to be a part of those profound and simple moments where human life, love, care, and passion lived.

After realizing that I wouldn't be happy unless I was actually helping others physically and emotionally, I began to think back to the nurses who kept alive my mom's sprit and became a part of our moments, and who therefore both directly and indirectly helped me. I also began to think about the individuals I had met while volunteering, such as those I met in hospitals, the homeless in NYC, other breast cancer patients, hospice members, the elderly in the retirement homes, and so many others who were all affected by my desire to become a part of their moments. I started to become more involved in my community and continue to be involved today. When I became a certified lifeguard at age 16, I finally had the right amount of hands on exposure to physical treatment that I needed to point me in the direction of a career in healthcare. I've come to realize how vital nurses are to local and global communities, as well as to individuals, and how much they truly give of themselves to their patients. The dedication, critical thinking, communication, listening, compassion, maturity, creativity, teamwork, patience, patience, and more patience that nurses must implicate daily, are skills that I've already had the opportunity to develop and will continue to develop in my career as a nurse. In my career as a nurse, I feel that I will be able to bring my creativity in photography and love of helping others in order to contribute to, as well as advance, the field in a unique way. While a large portion of my healthcare experience has not yet come from a work place, but rather a bit closer to home, I've still gained enough invaluable experience volunteering in several fields of healthcare already to know that I've undoubtedly discovered the field I want to forever be a part of.

Nursing wasn't something I always dreamed about becoming a part of when I was younger, but unbeknownst to me it was always a part of who I am and has followed me on my journey into adulthood. After each experience I had interacting with those who needed help in one way or another, I further realized the importance of something so simple as making people comfortable and confident with laughter and warmth when they need it, just like nurse Janet had done for me. My mother's long battle against breast cancer came to an end a few days after I turned 14; a day neither I nor my little sister could ever truly be prepared for. But little did I know that the experiences and the people we encountered during that time would later give meaning to my decision to become a nurse. I've been encouraged and truly inspired by the nurses who taught me how to have compassion, understanding, and patience when it comes to treating a human being, and not just by helping them recover but giving them the knowledge to make their own decisions in order to help themselves. I have numerous creative ideas and objectives for patient care that I hope I will be able to bring into my career as a nurse. Without the strength my mom has taught me, without the many nurses who have become a part of my family, and without the individuals I've encountered in my lifetime, I'm not sure I would have come to understand the importance of what it means to help others and therefore, what it means to be a nurse. I may still be young and have so much more to learn, but I already feel that my past and present experiences offer me grounding, enabling me the ability to become an extraordinary nurse much like the ones I've encountered. I know in my heart that this is the right profession for me. I've learned from others how to humble myself and how to open my heart to individuals that need me and, as a nurse, I in turn hope to help others learn the same.

Nursing is more than just a future profession for me; it is a privilege that will allow me to share my compassion for human beings by the responsibilities granted to me. By completing the baccalaureate program at Stony Brook, I know I will be challenged and influenced by top quality educators who share many of the same beliefs and hopes for others that I have. As an aspiring nurse, I'm seeking a program that offers both a challenging and comprehensive curriculum: one in which I can gain early exposure to clinical practice and become trained to be the best nurse I can be in a diverse learning environment. By becoming a baccalaureate prepared nurse after completion of the program at Stony Brook, I know that I will have received the best and most current education that will allow me to impact others in the most profound way possible. I believe, wholeheartedly, that nursing is the right profession for me and that Stony Brook School of Nursing is the place where I will truly thrive as a student and as a future nurse and friend. Although I know I will be facing an accelerated and rigorous program, I look forward to an enriching experience afforded by this institution and the invaluable ability to give myself to others.

Kitsumi 4 / 97  
Jan 3, 2013   #2
This essay is extremely long, and after a while a bit tiring to read. Your paragraphs are a wall of text. Try to separate them a bit more so it's spaced out better. In a formal essay like this one, don't use contractions. I haven't fixed any for you, you'll have to do that yourself. Vary your diction; this applies to all words, not just "nurse".

Your ideas repeat over and over; I didn't want to be a nurse, I didn't know I want to be a nurse; I was born to be a nurse. That's how I felt after reading the essay. You spent a long time describing your future as a photographer, and other than the helping people part, it's not that important to being a nurse.

Do try to cut down your essay. Admission Officers have hundreds if not thousands to look through, and long ones don't appeal that much. I hope this helps.


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