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Gain from Diversity at UMD Essay - UMD


lilbrunette275 1 / 3  
Oct 21, 2009   #1
Please help me edit this! I would really appreciate content suggestions as well as grammar mistakes, etc. The word limit is 300 words. (I have 199).

The question is: The University of Maryland prides itself on being an inclusive community that celebrates differences, brings together people from the widest array of backgrounds and perspectives, recognizes that excellence acnnot be achieved without diversity. What do you look forward to gaining from the diversity of the University of Maryland community?

Immigrating to America with my family at the age of four has taught me the importance of diversity. I believe College Park's inclusive community, with its large student body is a massive melting pot that will undoubtedly enhance my education. Attending College Park will help me gain a tremendous amount of knowledge about various cultures, races and religions.

As a student at UMD I will learn to approach life with a broad and different perspective, because of my exposure to different cultures, religions and backgrounds, which is pertinent to my education and goals. For example, I look forward to exercising the languages I've learned, including Romanian and Spanish. Having others around who speak the languages fluently will increase my proficiency and enable my success in the future as a diplomat. This will most certainly aid my future plans in studying international politics.

Being exposed to such a diverse community will also help me understand society better. If more ideas are shared between a community, they become more accepted. We can learn from each other and with an open mind possibly exclude stereotyping and racism from daily conversations. Spending my undergraduate years at a diverse college will surely prepare me for the real world.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 23, 2009   #2
...at the age of four has taught me the importance of... instead of saying "diversity" here, consider saying something that carries more meaning. Did it show you specific hardships faced by immigrants? A new way of understanding human nature?

The second and third paragraphs are good! I think you should elaborate on what you hope to accomplish as a diplomat.

Add one more paragraph to explain why this school is exactly where you need to be. Write about its resources, professors, etc. All of what you write will need to be related to diversity, of course. I hope you can capture the way that diverse viewpoints foster creativity and enrich a community...
OP lilbrunette275 1 / 3  
Oct 24, 2009   #3
Thank you very much! :) I will certainly add those into my essay!


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