'Gaining and exchanging knowledge' - U penn supplement essay

The question was How will engage academically at Penn ?
Thank you in advance for reviewing my essay .

My academic engagement at Penn will be to gain and exchange knowledge. I know that most of the time Penn will be teaching me, but you have to learn from the best in order to be the best, and being the best will allow the person to make a positive influence in the world.

At Penn I know will flourish academically that is why I am eager to be taught there and I always keep an open mind for new ideas and new ways of thinking. The reason why I am so confident about my academic flourishing is that I will be taught by the world best minds. Also, 95% of the lessons will be taught by the faculty themselves which will allow me to be exposed to their way of thinking first hand.

Being at a university like Penn I don't expect to be taught only in class but rather outside of class as well. Penn provides that through the learning hubs, which an astonishing idea. Through the learning hubs I can meet and interact with different students from different sides of the world, I can learn about different mentalities and perspectives and about different cultures as well.

Graduating from Penn will turn me into a more intellectual person. I know this change will not come easily, rather it will come through hard work but as Benjamin Franklin once said "An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest". Hopefully this September I will be in a place where I can expand my knowledge, and have a red and blue blood as well.

What are your thoughts and ideas on how I can improve this essay ?

I think you did a good job. :)

But here's a thing. Although I see your efforts to make this concrete and personal, still I think your essay is a bit too general. In my mindset, which may well be false, wouldn't the admission officers in Penn already know that they have world-class professors and provide great undergrad-orientated education? So if I were you, I would use the opportunity to envision how exactly I, not any other random student applying, will utilize all the resources. For instance, perhaps you look up one professor at Penn that does works that really interests you and talk about how you would like to engage his work and studies into your own.