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'I gather some tips on how Hollywood stars talk, act, and present themselves' - MIT essay



tdshah1 5 / 8  
Aug 17, 2014   #1
I am looking for feedback on
1) the activity I have described itself. I know MIT looks for unique, creative, 'weird', people- so I figured this pastime of mine would fit in.

2) the tone of the sentences
3) what other things one can gain watching celebrities off-screen (besides how they talk, act, present themselves)

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (100 words or fewer)

I enjoy volunteering my time and skills because it allows me to grow my interpersonal and technical skills while helping others, but even paid health professionals admit they don't simply gain a sense of fulfillment and reward every time from caring for someone. Rather, here's the real answer: I find it intriguing that celebrities are paid exorbitantly. So, I occasionally pick one and watch his interviews. Hollywood stars are taken to be the paragons of perfection, so I gather some tips on how they talk, act, and present themselves off-screen. And of course, I enjoy being able to step away from my reality and getting a good laugh from Jimmy Fallon arm wrestling Jack Nicholson.

Thanks!

supreeth97 4 / 8  
Aug 17, 2014   #2
Well, after reviewing, I can't say that your first objective has been fulfilled, i think you should spend more time talking about the actual activity rather than the buildup


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