Hi, I'm not really satisfied with my Why Wellesley essay and it's due in two days but I want to submit it tomorrow at the latest... any help would be greatly appreciated. I particularly don't like the last two sentences but I'm not sure what to do with them.
Please limit your response to two well-developed paragraphs and no more than 400 words.
When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can live, learn, and flourish. To this end, the Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.
Every Wednesday after school, I take turns with the other two girls in my class bringing snacks to share among the three of us. We are the only girls in a class of twenty males because it is an advanced math class; the same three are the only females in our IB Physics class. Before I entered the IB Program and started taking these classes, I never understood the full extent to which gender biases were successful in creating self-fulfilling prophecies. When I first walked into my math and physics classes, however, I became acutely aware of this. Throughout the past two years, the motivation and drive that I and the other two girls share to do well in these male-dominated classes created a bond between us, and through our weekly snacks that sustained us through the extra math class after school and intermittent study sessions, we supported each other through the rigors of a course that society dictated we should not even be in.
At Wellesley, the barrier between what a woman and a man can do does not exist but instead, every woman at Wellesley is empowered to pursue her own passion. Being surrounded by people as equally motivated as I am will create an environment that will push me to challenge my personal and academic limits. I do not believe that my gender should limit me in what my education encompasses, and that is why the curriculum at Wellesley attracts me: its core curriculum requires students to learn a broad range of knowledge while at the same time studying their field of interest in depth. With the abundance of academic opportunities at Wellesley, such as its cross-registration and exchange program with MIT and other schools, and its diversity of classes, I will acquire all the skills and education that are necessary for me to succeed after college. Wellesley's hundreds of student organizations, societies, opportunities for internship, to do research and to study abroad will also allow me to become a balanced person and are all the more reasons to pursue a liberal arts education at Wellesley. The campus at Wellesley is also breathtaking, and with the bell-tower, a simultaneously public but anonymous instrument, and traditions such as S'mores night, Wellesley is a community of which I would be proud to call myself a part.
Thank you sososo much! I'll also edit your essay if you want :)
Please limit your response to two well-developed paragraphs and no more than 400 words.
When choosing a college, you are choosing an intellectual community and a place where you believe that you can live, learn, and flourish. To this end, the Board of Admission is interested in knowing your reasons for applying to Wellesley College and how Wellesley will help you to realize your personal and academic goals.
Every Wednesday after school, I take turns with the other two girls in my class bringing snacks to share among the three of us. We are the only girls in a class of twenty males because it is an advanced math class; the same three are the only females in our IB Physics class. Before I entered the IB Program and started taking these classes, I never understood the full extent to which gender biases were successful in creating self-fulfilling prophecies. When I first walked into my math and physics classes, however, I became acutely aware of this. Throughout the past two years, the motivation and drive that I and the other two girls share to do well in these male-dominated classes created a bond between us, and through our weekly snacks that sustained us through the extra math class after school and intermittent study sessions, we supported each other through the rigors of a course that society dictated we should not even be in.
At Wellesley, the barrier between what a woman and a man can do does not exist but instead, every woman at Wellesley is empowered to pursue her own passion. Being surrounded by people as equally motivated as I am will create an environment that will push me to challenge my personal and academic limits. I do not believe that my gender should limit me in what my education encompasses, and that is why the curriculum at Wellesley attracts me: its core curriculum requires students to learn a broad range of knowledge while at the same time studying their field of interest in depth. With the abundance of academic opportunities at Wellesley, such as its cross-registration and exchange program with MIT and other schools, and its diversity of classes, I will acquire all the skills and education that are necessary for me to succeed after college. Wellesley's hundreds of student organizations, societies, opportunities for internship, to do research and to study abroad will also allow me to become a balanced person and are all the more reasons to pursue a liberal arts education at Wellesley. The campus at Wellesley is also breathtaking, and with the bell-tower, a simultaneously public but anonymous instrument, and traditions such as S'mores night, Wellesley is a community of which I would be proud to call myself a part.
Thank you sososo much! I'll also edit your essay if you want :)
