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Georgetown Main Essay: Tell the Admissions Coucil about yourself


Serendipity545 2 / 6  
Jan 15, 2010   #1
When you are hit with the genetic double whammy of being tall and left handed, life is never simple. My day usually starts off with finding my toes, which have been left uncovered by a normal-sized blanket, numb and blue. Then, depending on how disorientated from lack of sleep I am, I might bump my head against the top of my doorframe, and sport a nice bruise for the rest of the day. As I go about my day, must resist a natural inclination to do everything the lefty way-writing in notebooks, driving a car, shaking hands, sitting in school desks, turning around to get something-usually results in several klutz attacks in a crowded hallway or an infinite amount of possible awkward moments.

Tall people usually treat their height in one of two ways: ignore it or embrace it. While it is more acceptable for a man to be tall, both genders usually opt towards the "ignore it" end of the spectrum. However, being constantly hunched over and dressing to lessen the height effect usually only brings more attention to the fact that I am well on the far side of the bell curve. From a young age, I've had my mother pushing me to accept my height and to revel in it. "Honey, people know when a tall person walks into the room. Their eyes just naturally gravitate that way. Its up to you to own that attention," she proclaimed seriously. Taking her words to heart, I quickly learned how to "own" it as my mother suggested. I became assertive and confident, knowing that people were listening to me and what I had to say. Of course, my height was not enough to let me just slide through life, I had to earn it I am avid reader and student in general, because the downside of embracing my height is to be mistaken for an aspiring model or beauty queen. I do not have any issues with models or beauty queens-I've participated in two pageants-but I also dislike being put in a neat little labeled box. My hard work at school and my passion for literature has helped me to become friends with a variety of people I would have never known if I did not push my boundaries and interests every day.

My left-handedness was not much of an issue growing up on the teasing front, because children in school are rarely observant enough to notice which hand another student writes with. When I started driving, though, complications arose. I had a week in Ireland with my mother the previous summer, and some of the people there had taught me how to drive-on the left side of the road. On the empty back roads that are the only roads in our town, I would drive thirty yards before my father would remind me that on this side of the pond, the car is supposed to be in the right lane. I can now drive safely, the DMV swears it, but my driving was a wake up call to me. I live in a predominately right-handed, left-brained world. What did that mean for me? It meant that how I see the world is different, but not necessarily wrong. The upside of living in a world that does not suit my physical differences has made me more adaptable for any situation, because for every problem there's a solution, even if it is not obvious or easy.

I am very grateful for growing up tall and left-handed, even with the problems and teasing I've had to endure. Growing up outside the range of normalcy all of my life, and taking it in stride allowed me to avoid the desperate yearning for conformity most of my friends experienced in high school. For as many things my height excluded me from, like gymnastics or horse racing, my reaction to it has opened many more doors with even more exciting possibilities, and all of them have had doorframes are tall enough for me.

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Any suggestions/comments/ideas for a title? It's due at 12 AM tonight (Yes, I understand its last minute.
OP Serendipity545 2 / 6  
Jan 15, 2010   #2
Sorry, here's the prompt word for word:
ALL APPLICANTS: The Admissions Committee would like to know more about you in your own words. Please submit a brief essay, either personal or creative, which you feel best describes you.
nogasa 14 / 37  
Jan 15, 2010   #3
My hard work at school and my passion for literature has helped me to become friends with a variety of people I would have never known if I did nothad not OR hadn't pushed my boundaries and interests every day.

When I started driving, (no comma) though, complications arose.

As I go about my day, I must resist a natural inclination to do everything the lefty way-writing in notebooks, driving a car, shaking hands, sitting in school desks, turning around to get something-usually resulting in several klutz attacks in a crowded hallway or an infinite amountnumber of possible awkward moments.

I liked your essay a lot, how you took simple peculiarities like left handedness and being tall and made them your own. Thanks for reading my essay, and good luck with your app!
OP Serendipity545 2 / 6  
Jan 15, 2010   #4
Thanks Nick! I'm terrible at keeping my tenses straight, thank you for pointing that out. Best of luck with your essay!
Paulina213 2 / 23  
Jan 15, 2010   #5
Instead of just mentioning your height, I would give an exact number. Ex. At almost 7 feet,...

Gives more of a picture. Imagery is your friend when writing a memorable essay.
OP Serendipity545 2 / 6  
Jan 15, 2010   #6
@Paulina: Cool, imagery. How many times do you think I should mention the number? Once?

Is there anything else you think would improve the essay? Did you like it/hate it/don't really care one way or the other?
Paulina213 2 / 23  
Jan 15, 2010   #7
However many times feels natural to you, just don't overdo it. I like your essay, it is unique. Try to capture more of the essence though, by trimming it some. Read it over and over, to perfect it.
srandhawa 10 / 157  
Jan 16, 2010   #8
first off your closing statement has a grammar error, all of them have had doorframes are tall enough for me, there's no are, i actually dont have a problem w/ the closing statement and the message it conveys, but when you have an error like that to end your essay, it sticks out

As for the content, no this isn't a bad essay by any stretch, but this essay doesnt have much structure or focus to it. You first talk about your experiences in gynamsium and other events and how you took your mothers advice to heart, but then you talk about your experiences driving. No natural transition there. Also, your essay would have been stronger had you just started your essay w/ your moms advice, stating stuff like its not easy living being left handed, or people either ignore these peculiarities or embrace it really isnt necessary. I like the fact that you tried using details at the beginning of your essay, but they dont flow w/ the rest of the essay. theres also a blantant run on/ whatever you want to call it in the middle of the second para when you say you are an avid reader and had to earn, and since this is the type of error that when you read it aloud makes no sense, it'll stick out.

But the biggest things i can tell you if your planning to use this essay for another school since g-town's deadline passed, is that 1. your strectching this idea of left handed and tall to everything else too much, its bordering extreme/ hyperbole esque type. I sitll dont get how height gets you to push your boundaries and interests, i looked at least 5-6 times over and i'm still only guessing. This gets back to the focus issue, too many ideas just scattered around here, whats the theme? About overcoming your pecularities? That you can adapt? Well if it is, you dont develop the idea enough, you would have been better off going into detail about a specific situation in gymnastics. It doesn't really show how your pecularities changed you, it just tells.

second thing, while i think you try showing this more w/ your drivers test, again, your concluding statement in this para completely stretches and makes conclusions that your para doesnt really suggest or support. How does this experience make you realize you dont necessairly see things wrong or theres a solution to every problem? Makes no sense to me. But furthermore, whats the relevance of this drivers idea? I'll rehash my earlier point, how does it connect w/ your essay, what have you overcome in this? You just state the problem.

And finally, what exciting possibilites have you been opened up to in your conclusion?

I dont want to be harsh, this is a fairly unique topic, one that could attract the attention of adcoms, and sorry for this unorganized feedback myself:) But two things to take away, focus and purpose, tell a single story through your pecularities, and secondly, show how you've overcome, dont just keep stating problems

Good luck


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