Georgetown - School or summer activity most involved in - significance

I am finishing my essays now but would love some feedback on my short answer which I have completed.

School or summer activity most involved in-significance
The summer before fifth grade my mom added my name to the list of children who would attend choir camp at my church. I was hesitant but the promise of a trip to Kennywood, an amusement park, on the last day made me willing to deal with the three days of choir practice before the field trip. However, the singing and people ended up being infinitely better than expected and the one week of choir camp turned into twice a week practices and trips to Buffalo, New York, and Washington D.C over the course of the following years. For me choir is a biweekly stress reliever, a way to re-center myself in the middle of a tense school week or mentally prepare myself on Sunday for the busy week ahead. The friends I made through choir are people I will stay in touch with the rest of my life. From a two-day trip to Buffalo I forged a life long friendship with a girl I never would have met otherwise. My involvement in choir led to an involvement in chorus with my school, summer camps through the Royal School of Church Music, and opportunities to explore New York and D.C. with my friends. Through choir my church became a second home for my friends and I and the relationships I have made through choir will impact me the rest of my

Hello, I am not a moderator, but I would love to help.

Here are some grammer corrections...

In the sentence "I was hesitant but the promise of a trip to Kennywood, an amusement park, on the last day made me willing to deal with the three days of choir practice before the field trip."

Put a comma after hesitant.
Say " of a trip to Kennywood amusement park..."

Did you meant to write "will impact me for the rest of my life" in the last sentence?

Hope I helped a little.

Jenn

The friends I made through choir are people with whom I will stay in touch for the rest of my life.

This is great! Can you describe some insight you had during that experience... or better yet, an insight from that experience that has something to do with your intended course of study at Georgetown?

Some sort of discussion of the insights choir has given would really help. Perhaps you could talk about how you learned to be open to new experiences (since you didn't want to do it initially) or about how you discovered that its people that are really important (since the social element of choir is something you emphasize). The latter would be especially easy to link back to attending Georgetown, I should imagine.