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'A Universal Language' - Georgetown Short Essay on significance of school activity

napt11 1 / 3  
Dec 1, 2011   #1
So, when I first saw this, I thought it was like the common app one - lengthwise.
I realize that most people's short essays for georgetown are considerably longer.
So, I'm worried that it's too short. (But I like it, so idk!)
Please, Please I want to send everything in today for Georgetown :)
Thank you so much!

In the space available discuss the significance to you of the school or summer activity in which you have been most involved:

To me, soccer is music. Harmony in the players is key for the success of a team. The tempo of the ball going up and down the field, accompanied by the crescendo and decrescendo of the cheers in the stands make for the most striking piece I've ever come across. Yet, what happens when a sudden boom, a sudden crack of the instruments, is heard? There is no other option left than to recover. The song keeps going, yet it's missing a key player, or maybe that key player is the one that is missing her music the most. Left with a void in her heart, the player works and works to finally get back into the game, to keep on making music. And once she gets there, the game is even sweeter than she remembered.

This game is more than a sport; it is a universal language that is passionately followed around the globe, it is music to a million and one people. Further, it is a lesson in life. You can't make a goal without giving everything you have, you can't go through life without passing the ball, and when you fall, when the music seems to stop, you must pick yourself up in order to enjoy the beautiful song that is life.
littlebutterfly 4 / 5  
Dec 2, 2011   #2
Your essay is intriguing and full of imagination. I like it very much.

But I think you can make it more substantial by adding some personal and concrete examples.

Hope it helpful:)

Could you please give advice to my essay? Thanks a lot.
Vic9871 1 / 2  
Dec 3, 2011   #3
I like the extended metaphor. Very creative (:
But maybe more emphasis on why it is important to you?

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