Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width   Posts: 5


'Gift not for trade' -Tufts the environment in which you were raised shaped you



Ivy_Equestrian 13 / 53  
Jan 4, 2010   #1
It's kind of my thing to tell stories, so I answered this prompt a little differently. After all, they asked us to think outside of the box! :D Any help would be MUCH appreciated - this is due in an hour, haha!

We passed the girls, just as we had last Sunday and the Sunday before that. They were a vital part of our routine, bustling towards us with their large noses and friendly inquiries. We would always stay a while, allowing them to bump us clumsily as they reached deft tongues out to catch a taste of our faces. Their kisses were sloppy. By the time we said our goodbyes and turned to walk down the lane that led home, they had dispersed, their black and white bodies silhouetted against the cerulean sky. Their chorus of moos was audible even after we had long since left them behind.

Those four-mile Sunday walks shaped my childhood, and laid the framework for the person I would become. I always begged for riding lessons, and my mother managed to scrape together the money for me to have one a week. We couldn't afford to ride the bus home from my lessons, so we walked. At six-years-old, four miles seemed like a hundred, but it was worth it. Sometimes I have rued the fact that I have never had the money to compete on a national level or own several fantastic horses. But in the long run, I'm glad I've always had to work for the ability to do what I love. That has made me all the more appreciative of the opportunities ď both small and monumental ď that have come my way, and it has instilled in me a drive and determination I may not otherwise have. Growing up with extremely limited means has been a gift I would never trade.

jinglebells 3 / 15  
Jan 4, 2010   #2
haha i love it!

We would always stay a while, allowing them to bump itno us clumsily as they reached deft tongues out to catch a taste of our faces. Their kisses were sloppy.

oh woah moo and not cows?? i'm confused now.

I love the ending. I love the piece as a whole. It has lots of imagery and really shows who you've become.

Please edit mine!
OP Ivy_Equestrian 13 / 53  
Jan 4, 2010   #3
Hahah, they are cows. :) Cows I would walk by on the way home! I'll clarify that in the piece. Thanks!!!
jinglebells 3 / 15  
Jan 4, 2010   #4
No, it's just that you said that you asked for riding lessons. So then I thought horses. Horses that moo, lol.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Jan 14, 2010   #5
catch a taste of our faces.

Great line!

Those four-mile Sunday walks shaped my childhood, and they laid the framework for the person I would become.
or
Those four-mile Sunday walks shaped my childhood (no comma) and laid the framework for the person I would become.

Growing up with extremely limited means has been proven to be a gift, and now I appreciate it as one that I would never trade. -- I think the way you had written it seemed wrong because of: has been ----- would never trade.

Anyway, this is excellent, a great idea...

:-)


Home / Undergraduate / 'Gift not for trade' -Tufts the environment in which you were raised shaped you
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳