'goals that aren't yours' - UC prompt: where you come from

Topic: Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I would appreciate any critique (preferably negative); also critique on vocabulary and grammar is highly appreciated (My first language isn't english)

ESSAY:

As long as I can remember I strived to excel. If you would ask me why, I couldn't give you a definite answer. Maybe the desire of my single raising mother for me to once live a better, more fortunate life was my drive to succeed scholastically. Maybe it was the desire to impress my dad, who I rarely saw, that made me work hard. Maybe it was the drive of superiority over others that gave me this motivation. Maybe it was the willingness to once earn as much money as I could ever possibly spend that pushed me. Maybe it was a combination of these things or maybe something completely different.

I just know whatever my motivation before I lived in the US (2003 -2005) was to do well in school and in other aspects of life, became a concomitant of the determination to go back to the States, after I lived there for 2 years with my mom and was forced to return to Austria, my country of citizenship, because of an expired visa. I worked harder than anybody that I know of and was probably engaged in more extracurricular activities than most other students to pave my way into college acceptance in the States, my personal "ticket back home". To obtain "my ticket" I was willing to do about anything and to sacrifice about anything. I gave up a great portion of my social life, cut back on personal interests and was compliant to the opinions of others, and I succeeded academically.

After high school I had to complete the mandatory military service. This was one of the most difficult times of my life, but one of the most shaping as well. From the second day in the army I was stationed in the hospital, because of what then was thought of an influence. However, as the flu didn't pass, the doctors were perplexed. I was told that the symptoms that I had might indicate Hepatitis, HIV or a malign form of lymphocytic cancer. The following weeks, until I got the final diagnosis, were daunting. I was prepared for the worst and already depicted how I would spend my last months. In the end it miraculously turned out to "just" be Mono, what a relief.

The following weeks as I was freed from many duties in the military, I had a lot of time to ponder. It became the most philosophical part of my life up to now. I was confronted with a lot of questions relating to my personal past and future and especially with the question: What if it wouldn't have been mono? These couple of months of philosophizing contributed a great portion to my attitude and way that I look at life currently.

As I understand the world for myself today, money isn't as important. I have learned to cope with inferior materialistic circumstances when I was in the military or when I worked at a camp as a travel guide for several weeks and found it not to be a burden but sometimes even a relief. I believe it is more important to pursue your personal interests and to do what you love to do.

I believe it's not worth spending your life engaging in goals that aren't yours and yielding to beliefs of others (if circumstances don't demand it). It's not worth giving up dreams, because of those who don't believe in you or because other options might be easier. It's not worth looking back at your life one day and regretting it. It's not worth not being an impact. It's not worth being forgotten one day. It's not worth not enjoying every single day in life as if it would be the last, because one day it certainly will.